Monday, July 23, 2012

The Bachelorette: The Final Rose, Part II

And now... it's time for the finale. America will finally be able to see who Emily chose to be her new baby's daddy. Let's get this party started.

8:00 PM- Standard opening. Whoa... "the most dramatic event of the summer" - really? I think I'd go with the 2012 London Olympics. But whatevs, to each his own.

8:03 PM- Wait... there's a live studio audience to basically watch this finale? Hope they got in for free.

Whoa, is that J.P. and what's her face in the audience behind Chris?!

The couple to the right of Chris' shoulder.

8:05 PM- So we finally begin and they're in Curacao. Surprise, Ricki's here! Emily says she's nervous about Ricki meeting the guys. Guess we'll see how that goes.

The family is here. Is that her sister... or her brother...

8:07 PM- Jef's up first to meet the parents. I wonder if her family's first thoughts were, "he ain't from the south..."

(Oh, it's her brother.)

This episode is moving quickly. Not even 10 minutes in and Jef's already having his one-on-one talk with mom. Man... this is going to be a loooooooong 2 hours if they're already at this point.

Eeehh, mom sounds like a smoker. Like... a pack a day kind of smoker. And how come she isn't wearing a wedding ring.

8:09 PM- I've said it before, jef is good with his words. He does a great job saying the right things confidently.

WHOA - they're all sitting around the table and... actually eating!! Ok... well only her brother was eating so good for him. You eat that slider and you enjoy it.

8:10 PM- Emily's brother is speaking that truth to Jef. Somewhat makes me view everything a little differently when her brother says that she had love and now every guy is having to live up to Ricky (first guy).

Wow... easiest approval talk ever talking to Emily's father.

8:14 PM- Asha notices that Jef was slowly going for "the Arie" kiss (grab the back of the head, have Emily's curls intertwined in his fingers and throw that tongue in there like a fish out of water). I see you playa.

Commercial break: Anyone gonna watch the Bachelor Pad? I need a new show to blog along with, but it definitely will not be that one. I dunno, maybe I should take a break... we'll see.

8:17 PM- We're back. Chris (the host) is playing up the crowd. Gotta get the Arie fans all riled up.

Yo, Arie does have nice eyes. Yeah I said that.

Haha, soooo there's some good editing but um... haha, Arie is rambling. He is vomiting words like a bulimic.  He was doing all the talking, but that's understandable when you're nervous.

8:19 PM- Ooooo, Arie pulled a nice pimptastic move pulling out all of the roses. It was a thoughtful move, not sure how much dad and brother loved it, but I'm sure it said a lot to the ladies - and that's who you're aiming for.

Oh snap, now mom is saying she's in love with both men. These guys are clearly just... too hot for TV. Just too cool for school. Apparently this is like choosing who's cuter - babies vs puppies.

8:22 PM- Dang, brother is confused as well. I'm tellin' ya... babies vs puppies.

Haha, Arie just asked for her dad's blessing. There was a long pause. Speaking from experience man, that's almost as scary as proposing. You can still marry the love of your life and have in-laws hate ya, but it's SO much easier when they like you.

8:24 PM- BOOM. Arie just did "the Arie". Obviously he's the master of this move and he just showed everyone in America how it's properly done.

Commercial break: Um.... what in the WORLD is Oogieloves?! That really caught me off guard.

8:30 PM- Family talk now and Emily seems like she comes from a family full of indecisive folk. No one could pick and now Emily is mad because she's even more confused.

Now Emily isn't sure if she even wants to introduce them to Ricki. I dunno... I think you kind of have to introduce them, right? I mean, I wouldn't want to pick a winner and then find out Ricki hates him.

Man, already on another commercial break. Guess this means I have to go get some dessert.

8:37 PM- And we're back. Chris doing a great job keeping the audience in it. That's the sign of a great host, people.

Man, Curacao looks nice. miiight have to add that to my list of places to go. Anyway, looks like we get a day with Jef.

They're sitting on the beach talking and all I can concentrate on is the crashing waves. I like to listen to it on my iRelax app when I go to sleep. So yeah, I haven't heard much of what they're saying. I'm sure the conversation went a little like this,

Jef: "So... blah, blah, blah I wanna meet Ricki."
Emily: "Blah blah, like... blah, blah, blah... I dunno."
Jef: "Yeah... blah, blah, blah, blah I really wanna meet this kid."
Emily: ... long pause... "yeah."

8:43 PM- So after much deliberation, as shown by my conversation translation above, Emily decides to introduce Jef to Ricki. Jef is really excited about it. I have mentioned before that he was the one guy all season that constantly mentioned Ricki and talked about her. Even if he was just "playing the game" he still knew to say the right things.

Commercial break... I never got my cheesecake so I believe now's the time.

8:49 PM- We're back and I got my cheesecake. I might miss a lot due to it's deliciousness.

So Jef has FINALLY met Ricki. He's so happy, haha. Ricki showing off all of her tricks. It cracks me up we (adults) like to treat kids like dogs and make them do tricks. Again... babies vs puppies.

Jef said Ricki is the most beautiful 6 year old. I disagree. I've seen MUCH cuter 6 year olds at the Y. Like... not even close.

8:54 PM- Jef is doing a good job with Ricki and Emily at the moment. He's doing rule #1 with kids. Just let them talk. Let them control the conversation, it makes everything easier.

Haha, Emily basically just confessed that she didn't give Ricki those puppets they got her.

Well that seemed like a nice 1/2 to the date. Ricki didn't seem to hate him, but they did something fun all day so I mean... I'd like him too.


I'd like a new car. Well, I want my next vehicle to be an SUV or a truck. Which would I look better in? Be honest.

9:01 PM- We're' back and it looks like they're having dinner at... wherever Jef is staying. Did he cook as well?

I feel like a chump. It's just after 9 and I'm already fading. Every Monday was 2 hours and I pushed through it. But tonight... ya boy is struggling. Hopefully Arie can provide a second wind for me. But until then...

9:03 PM- Jef has a present for Emily. It's a...

Book. About Curacao. Yeah, you could've left that at the gift shop. He doesn't know about Arie's rose gift. At least he inserted his "Where's Waldo" pictures.

Wait... ok now I'm just getting tired of this. She came over for dinner... but there wasn't any dinner food. And now she's leaving. I hope at least the camera crew is getting to eat and they're being fed well.

Man another commercial. This is kind of annoying.

Mmm, that cheesecake was good.

9:11 PM- We're back and now Chris is talking to audience members. We... really don't want to hear what they have to say, Chris.

Man, he talked to 3 ladies. at least the last one had a lil' joke.

9:12 PM- Ya know, it's probably really hard having a great day with someone you're looking to maybe marry, then realizing that the next day you have to do it with someone else.

Chris is over for a visit. He's been like... her Yoda this season. Seems like she's had more conversations with Chris than any other Bachelor or Bachelorette.

He's such a good listener though.

That was sarcasm.

9:15 PM- Emily talks all happy about her great day with Jef and him meeting Ricki and then Chris drops the bomb, "what about that other guy?"

And the waterworks begin.

So Emily has just decided that she's officially fallen in love with Jef. Sounds like Arie won't even get to meet Ricki... which is OK if he ain't gonna get picked.

This has potential to be a good scene. Arie could potentially just blow up and start acting like Mr. Ostrich.

"What?! I mean... can you explain this?! EVERY TIME I kissed you, I put everything into it and you go and pick the Mormon in skinny jeans?!"

Commercial break.

9:23 PM - Maaaaaaaaan... they've got Arie looking stupid making a "love potion", but uhh... Emily has already made up her mind.

Hey, is Arie wearing the same clothes he was wearing when he met Emily's family?

Anyway, Arie is gonna look like Doug, haha. I just hope he doesn't try to kiss her in the middle of it. Although, for him it'd be a better move than it was for Dougie Fresh.

9:25 PM- Man, I'm hurtin' for Arie right now. He just doesn't know it's coming... ugh. Emily's breaking down and Arie's all confused. Ladies, watching you cry sucks. ESPECIALLY when we don't really know why.

I think Arie is finally realizing what's happening here. This sucks because he really didn't do... anything wrong. I GUESS this is better than the embarrassment of getting rejected while proposing. But still man... ouch.

9:29 PM- Emily is good at crying without tears actually flowing.

Arie's face is like, "man... shut up." He really doesn't want to talk to her right now, and I can't blame him.

Haha, they hugged and the mic picked up someone's racing heart. that was funny.

Anyway, Arie is ready to GO. He probably got in that SUV and was like, "bro, drive. NOW."

Seriously though, it's probably a good thing that Arie didn't have to pick out a ring and get all dressed up and prepare a lil' speech then get down on 1 knee just for her to THEN say no. Saved a lot of hassle.

Ya'know, this really didn't go like I thought it would. What do we have to watch now since we umm... already know who won?

Hahahaha... the studio audience was deeply effected by this news. It's like... the entire audience was also emotionally invested in what just happened. It was kind of awkward.

Commercial break.

9:38 PM- And we're back with the emotional audience. More talking with audience members and I knew it, that was J.P. and Ashley (aka "what's her face") sitting in the audience.

Who are these other people Chris is talking to? Oh... apparently this girl was on the Bachelor and Bachelorette. And uh... I guess this guy was too.
Oh, and another former person. Man, this is like a big reunion.

Man, that segment was a waste of time. Commercial break...

9:47 PM- We're back. Emily is feeling good about her choice picking Jef. Oh, and now Jef is with Mr. Neil Lane to pick out a ring. Dang, of course those were some nice rings too. He doesn't even know he's already won.

Hmmm... it's a nice dress Emily is wearing, but she's worn better throughout the season.

Why must we take another commercial break? (I know why) Can't we just go ahead and end this? Also, not sure if I can make it through the 'After the Rose' stuff, guys. I missed TrueBlood because of this. The least they could do is end this.

9:57 PM- Finally back and they keep asking "Will Jef propose to Emily?" Uh... they ALWAYS propose at the end. Why would they get the ring if they weren't going to? Then they'd just be... stealing.

Haha, she said, "well..." like she was expecting him to do something. And then we heard the studio audience laugh. It wasn't THAT funny.

I was wondering if she was going to tell Jef that she let Arie go early. Well... she did.

Jef's speech is running a bit long. I stopped listening. I'm sure he said great things like he always does. We finally get to it - Jef proposed (duh) and after about seconds of standing, a smiling Emily says yes.

Ugh... and now we have to go through their moments AGAIN. Who decided it was a good idea to make this 80s montage?

Oh, and there's Ricki. One big happy family. Yay.

I did it. I made it to the end! I had many moments where I wasn't sure I could do it.

Oh wait, that after the rose special... crap. They just jumped right into that. I need to make my lunch for tomorrow. They've got me missing my bedtime.

Ok, it's not even about bedtime. I just don't want to watch this. Sorry guys, my bachelorette blogging stops here. IT's been fun. I actually enjoyed watching and getting feedback from everyone. For those of you that always want to comment on the blog, but for some reason it doesn't let you, I apologize. I don't know why it's doing that. I gladly accept messages via Facebook though. Anyway, it's been real. Hopefully I'll find another TV show to blog about so I can do my part with this blog. Asha wants me to blog and TV gives me a reason to.

Alright, enough blabbering. Peace out friends!

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