Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Bachelorette: The finish line is in sight!

We're back.

I just remembered Dez kept Michael last week. Ugh.

Oh yeah, but they're on some island this week. This season has felt like it's just draaaaaaaaaaaaaaagged, but suddenly it's hometown visits next week! Anyway, let's start the show.

8:00 PM - open with some scenes... the usual.

This island they're at looks niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Clear sea water, always a plus.

So far uh... no one else is on this island. It's so... clean. It makes me want to travel.

8:04 PM - Heeeeeeyyyyy, girls from last season!! This has been the best moment of the entire season! Lesley is there... I ended up liking her last season. And obviously I liked Catherine.

(high pitched) "Blah, blah, blah... giggle, giggle..." that's all I heard.
Haha... this is such... girl talk.

Yuuuup... I'm no longer interested.

Is this how girls are when they get together? All that giggling, my goodness.


8:13 PM - We're back and Brooks is getting ready to go on his date.

And speaking of - this past week I saw a pic where folks are comparing Brooks to "Mr. Turner" - the cool, hip teacher the students loved on the show 'Boy Meets World'. Fun fact: my sophomore year at App I definitely scheduled my classes around the lunchtime line up on ABC family (Family Matters, Boy Meets World, Step by Step and Full House). #BOSS

Obviously Mr. Turner is Brooks' illegitimate child. 

They're riding in a drop top fiat. Boy does that look stupid.

This little car looks like he can barely get up this mountain. What is this like a 2-cylinder wind-up clown car?

This car wouldn't make it in Boone.

I can barely pay attention to these dates now. I will say though, their view right now is very, very cool.

I have to admit, this was a nice view for Dez and Mr. Turner.

8:19 PM - Ugh... why do they always feel the need to do that standing up and yelling thing? I blame Ron Burgundy for this.

Haha... this makes me laugh every time.


8:23 PM - Time for the next date card... oh snap, and Chris got that next 1-on-1 date. Luckyyyyyy.

This is the same guy that chose to wear the heels. Just want y'all to remember that.

Y'all remember this? 

Time for the dinner portion of the date with Brooks. This island is definitely romantic. ABC knows how to pick 'em.

This is boring.

It honestly looks like they're genuinely enjoying each other, but I just don't wanna watch it, haha.

8:28 PM - Random fireworks show to conclude their date. Wow... such  a coincidence! I mean... what are the chances?! Crazy how that worked out.

That, my friends, was what I like to call acting.


8:36 PM - Hahaha, I totally missed about 3-4 minutes of this segment. I was Facebookin'. Anyway, Chris and Dez are out on the yacht now. #Baaallllliiiiiiiiinnnn'

If there's 1 thing I can say about these dudes on this season, they make me want to workout.

Oh, Michael finally gets his 1-on-1 date. He's definitely my least favorite person left on this show.

8:39 PM - Dez and Chris are having their boring talk. Aww, and now they're going to write a poem together and put it in a bottle. How romantic... writing poetry together... just spittin' rhymes better than Soulja Boy. And then tossing it into the ocean and kissing upon the rocks as the waves crash around them painting the perfect scene for the most romantic moment of the season!

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh, you guessed it... I was acting again.


8:47 PM - Wer'e back and it's dinner time. Chris has also said he's gonna drop the L word tonight. We'll see how that goes.

I will say, Chris and Brooks seem to be in the lead. Just judging by their 1-on-1 dates they've had.

Haha, Chris is nervous. First, he kicked the bucket of champagne. Now he's all fidgety. Starting to sweat...

Ladies, most guys get like this before saying "I love you" and dropping to 1 knee. That's how you know it's real haha.

Oh... he's got another poem. Ladies, does that ever get old? Like... if for every present, anniversary, birthday, mother's day, date night, apology - if you always got a new poem, would that get old?

Anyway, he said it and, of course, melted her heart. He's definitely earned some big points with his poems.

Ok... tired of watching them kiss.

Thank God... commercial.


8:57 PM - Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back. Michael's turn on a date. Guys, I just don't like this guy soooooooooooooooooo there's a good chance I'll just stop typing. I mean... I can't believe he's made it this far.

Oh, I will talk about this cuz this lil' sled right down the hill looks kinda fun. Although, Dez looks and sounds like she's having more fun than he is.

He just looks... uncomfortable.

That was a super boring first half of the date.


9:05 PM - Back on. Learned that Michael didn't really have a father growing up. Did we already know this? These stories have started to run together.

Thankfully it's back to the hotel. Time for this 2-on-1 date. We already knew who was on it, but yeah... can still be entertaining once the realization hits the guys.

Oh.. nope, wasn't really entertaining this time.

9:10 PM - back to the date. Michael is doing more sharing. This time we learned about him moving in with some girl and then finding out she was with some other dude.

Oh, we've got another private concert. Haven't had one of these in a while. And in case you didn't watch, this is concert is definitely a spanish lady singing with 2 guitar players.

Hey, Asha just pointed out something - we haven't see Chris Harrison ALL NIGHT! What's he doing this whole time???


9:16 PM - Time for the 2-on-1 date. Well... I guess this has potential to be entertaining.

This 2-on-1 date kinda has the 2... most made up/fakest looking dudes left. Mr. Hilfiger and... Zak... Mr. Fake lookin' guy.

Oh, now they're racing. IF YOU AIN'T FIRST, YOUR LAST!

Oh, if you didn't know, they're racing go karts. I haven't been in one of those in sooooo long. This is why I need to still work with kids/one day have my own. Cuz that's what I'm trying to do... race go karts like a boss!

Oh yeah, Zak won.


9:25 PM - Haha, we open up and it totally sounds like each guy is currently in the friend zone. Dez said it doesn't feel like a normal 2-on-1 date cuz it feels like she's with 2 guys friends and also romantically involved.

1-on-1 time with Zak now. He has a bunch a drawings basically recapping the memories he has with her. I guess that was cool.

Drew's turn.

Oh snap... Drew said he's fallen for Dez. Twice.

I don't know who's getting this rose. These dudes are almost too nice to each other... but I'd probably be nice too though, haha.

Oooooo, moment of truth - who gets this rose???

Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, Drew gets the rose! He is locked in for the hometown visit!

Zak is pretty salty about this. Can't blame him, but I still laugh.


9:39 PM - Finally down to the final... 20 minutes of this show.

It's very tense in the hotel with the guys. Only 1 guy has a rose. 5 guys left. Only 4 roses. This is definitely an "Ohhh snap!" moment.

9:40 PM - ATTENTION - we've finally had a Chris Harrison sighting. I don't even know how he let this get through the editing room.

Oh... this is like... interview time. Ha, Dez just straight up said Drew is the best lookin' dude. I like the definitive honesty.

Dang girl! She basically just said she's fallen in love with Brooks. She's just all kinds of giddy right now.

Chris asked her if this is basically over. She said no... buuuuuut it definitely feels like she's narrowed it down to at least her final 3 already.


9:51 PM - OK, time to wrap up this episode. It's rose ceremony time!

Only 1 guy needs to go home... and that needs to be Michael. Don't let me down, Dez.

Brooks gets the first rose. No real surprise there. Next rose goes to Chris. Again, no surprises here either.

Ok, this is where Dez could mess it all up. I can't say I'm a huge fan of either guy left... but I rather Zak stay.

Final rose goes to... Zak! Yes! Good job, Dez.

Bye, Michael.

Dez is trying to soften the blow but really, at this point, there isn't really anything you could do.

Question - when do you think the crew finds out who's going home? You think Dez picks her guys, then just tells the crew who's going home so they can get their bags ready? And you think they watch and giggle amongst themselves watching these dudes squirm.

Oh my GOD... Michael had a very, very... girlie moment in that limo. My man called his mom. I mean... just like a girl. I can tell he didn't have a dad.

I still can't BELIEVE this dude called his momma. Like... for real? 


Ok. This episode is finally over and we got some interesting previews for next week. I forgot all about Dez's brother. Haha... and in these previews, my man was just... lurking, haha. Ahh, that should be interesting.

Ok guys, see ya next week!

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