Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Bachelorette: A riveting snooze fest.

Guys, this has probably been the most boring season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette I've ever watched (I've only seen 4 seasons, this is my 5th). I'm not totally sure what it is about this season, but it's been a huge struggle to get through these episodes. Do you all think this season is boring? Or am I just missing the entertainment? Someone help me out here. Am I alone in this thinking? I need to know. I'm serious about this. Leave me some comments, I want to know your thoughts.

Anyway, because some of you are still reading, I'm going to continue watching. Just know I actually changed the channel from ESPN for this. It's a good thing this isn't during football season.

Let's start he show...

8:00 PM: We've started with our usual opening - seeing previews of what's coming up. Give me something good tonight, Bachelorette.

Well... Dez does a lot of crying so... maybe we get some entertaining drama. Keep your fingers crossed, folks!

8:02 PM: The boys have arrived in Munich. I wonder what made them pic Germany to travel to? If I'm the Bachelor, we aren't going ANYWHERE where I have to wear a jacket.

Chris Harrison's first appearance. Dang it, he's not wearing one of his designer shirts that he designed.

Anyway, he just announced there'd be the first 2-on-1 date. I would hate, hate, HATE to be on that. Just... despise it.

8:05 PM- Casey tried his hand at some German. He sounded really dumb.

So Chris gets the date. Still not sure about him. He was the one wearing heels... yeah, gonna keep an eye on him...

I'm already tired of everyone trying to speak German.

Anyone gonna go see Pacific Rim? I dunno about that one, guys. Just looks pretty... corny to me.

8:11 PM: We're back and opening with Captain America who, again, is moping about not wanting to be there. Hey, dummy - why you gonna wait until you travel across the world to really decide you don't want to be there.

Oh, AND he decides to go interrupt Chris' date to tell Dez he's leaving... man, just go home.

Anyway, back on the date... this is another date I don't want to watch. However, I would like to try some of those sausages I just saw.

Ha, Dez and Chris dancing around in the city and... pretty sure Asha has those same boots Dez is wearing.

This makes me kinda dizzy... 
Confirmed. Same pair.

Ok, Captain America is going around asking the Germans if they speak English and if they've seen a camera crew. They're all just kind of... looking at him. Some are responding... kind of. Anyway, he eventually finds them. I hope just totally ruins the date.

(I should explain - I'm not evil. I don't want people to have ruined dates. I just really, really, really want some entertainment.)


8:19 PM: We're back and it's time to ruin a date!

Wow... that was as pleasant as it could've been. Well, Chris... you're a nice guy. I'll give ya that. I GUESS I probably would've done the same thing. I mean... he does still have the dinner time with her later.

Well, Captain America just dropped the bomb. I think Dez is upset? I don't know. Like the guys said, he's mentioned it before so she knew it was a possibility. But yeah, bye, Captain!

They just questioned why would he fly all the way out to Germany to say he wants to leave (same thing I asked). Well I figured it out - that was a free trip to Germany. I'm all for it.

8:25 PM: Back to the guys and it's time to announce who's on the group date.

Whoa, what's up with my man's hair? Brush that down or somethin', man! (Side note: ya know, for as much as white people don't fully understand black people hair... well rest assured, white people, many of us don't fully understand your hair either. I have some questions, but that's for another time/place/blog.)

What are we calling this "hair style"? He just looks... ignant.

Haha, Ben and Michael will be on the 2-on-1 date. Michael hates Ben. This has been set up to be quite entertaining, but will it be? Yeah, we'll see.


8:30 PM: Hahaha, Dez tripped on the curb/her dress. Most entertaining thing all episode...

It's only 8:30. Guys, I don't know if I'm gonna make it this episode/this season. 2 hours man...

It's dinner time. They're not eating, but they're definitely throwin' back the wine. Won't be letting that go to waste.

8:32 PM: Oh yeah... he writes poetry. I wish he put some music or dropped a beat to this. Anyway, Dez liked the poem. It brought her to tears. So he got the rose.

(Chris just mentioned an underrated fact. Single ladies, the ability to decently throw a football is pretty attractive. Don't go throwing like Peyton Manning - which would be impressive, just not quite as attractive. But yeah, in college, I searched the campus for ladies that could catch AND throw a football. And thanks to my scouting, I got a co-ed championship in flag football and 1 in co-ed arena football. #winner)

8:35 PM: Oh look... a private concert. Wow, he must feel lucky because no one else has gotten this!

Well, I guess I'm looking forward to this 2-on-1 date. I hope they fight.


8:40 PM: We're back and they're hangin' out on the highest peak in Germany.

These group dates are like... the epitome of a sausage fest.

Ha, Dez's reaction is funny. She clearly is amazed. Really nice view though.

Ha, this yoddler is... funny. But from what I hear, I can do that.

8:45 PM: Dang, son, they're about to some epic sledding. That looks fun (and dangerous).

Sausage sledding fest

Haha, Tommy Hilfiger just slammed right into Dez. That was funny.

8:47 PM: So back at the house... haha, Chris is just sitting there, soaking in all the awkwardness. I seriously need these guys to fight... at least verbally.

Any of y'all watching TrueBlood? That show is addicting. Just thought I'd share.

8:51 PM: And we're back. Hey, they get to walk through/inside an igloo mansion! I bet Eskimos watching this are like, "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang, they must be on MTV Cribs!"

Side note: I've been playing some Bachelorette trivia during this episode. Almost sad to admit I'm KILLIN' this trivia. Straight #BEASTMODE on these strangers.

8:56 PM: Mikey was actually seeming to have good conversation and then he was interrupted. Sucks for him.

Haha, James is gettin'... a lil' cocky. Throwin' out that playalistic game.

9:00 PM: 1 hour down. I just wanted to announce that.

Hey, Brooks got the group date rose. I guess I like him. He seems less annoying than many of the others.

Oh nah, son. Asha right now is over on the couch half asleep! I should just close my laptop now.

This episode is SO exciting and entertaining! So much so, Asha decided to just go ahead and dream about it.

Whoa... 'the Conjuring' looks pretty freaky. Who wants to go see it with me? (Cuz Asha won't.)

9:05 PM: Time for this 2-on-1 date.

Haha, they're just quietly sitting in the limo. I still don't understand why Michael hates Ben so much. Like... I just don't get it. Why is he so upset that Ben hasn't talked about his son anymore? Why does he need to talk to you about his son? Ugh, go away.

9:09 PM: Thank GOD Dez didn't really want to jump in that cold water. I never understand why people want to do that.

This hot tub boat thing is actually kind of cool. Not gonna lie.

This hot tub time was way more awkward than anything that's happened in a Real World house.

9:12 PM: I don't think Michael realizes that he's sounding like a jerk trying to make Ben sound bad. No matter what you personally think about him, you can't sit there and basically push his buttons, make him out to be a terrible father and DARING him to punch you in the face and think you're going to look like the "good guy" with Dez. That's just dumb.


9:17 PM: Back on. Dudes are just chillin' back at the hotel. Tommy Hilfger and Casey (maybe) are just airing out everything they heard.

Honestly, it's somewhat of a win for everyone if Dez just drops 'em all.

Anyway, dinner time. They're snacking (on something) and well... Michael starts the drama. He just doesn't get it... he looks like a douche right now. He's clueless.

Ugh... they're not going to fight. Way to keep it boring guys. I hope Dez let's them both go. Even though I don't really see why Ben would have to leave, haha.


9:28 PM: We're back and now that Ben has walked out and Dez is uncomfortable... Michael finally realizes his lil' lame plan ain't working.

9:32 PM: It's rose time (finally). Will either of them get a rose?

The 2-on-1 rose goes to... Michael. I'm... a little bit surprised.

Haha, Ben ain't acting toooooo Christian at the moment. Oh well, sucks for you Ben. But if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Michael is staying much longer.

Back at the house, the guys are so happy Ben is going home. ...yaaaay...


9:40 PM: Back on.

Dez looks nice with her hair up.

1-on1 time with Chris Harrison. He hasn't made many appearances this episode. I... guess that's a good thing?

Blah, blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I might take a break until the rose ceremony guys. Just warning you.

9:46 PM: Dez said no cocktail party for you losers tonight. And of course, James tosses in, "you look beautiful," just in case she was thinking about sending him home... and that comment would change her mind.


9:53 PM: Rose ceremony time. Let's send some dudes home.

Ya know... I am SO tired of hearing these guys say "right reasons" or "wrong reasons". It' gotten so very, very old. In other news, I've gotten good guitar practice during this episode.

First rose goes to Zak. Not much of a surprise there.

Kasey gets the next rose (I've been spelling his name wrong all season... oops.).

Juan Pablo (not enough of him tonight) and Drew aka Tommy Hilfiger get the next 2 leaving 1 rose remaining. I guess some popular dudes are left...

Ooooooo, James gets the last rose. James appears to be the next "bad guy." Hilfiger and Kasey apparently overheard him saying some stuff about possibly being the next bachelor. None of us heard it so... we don't know what was truly said.

These guys get REALLY upset about these other guys apparently lying. It makes my man's blood boil.

OK, whatevs... on to previews of the next episode. They're going to Spain.

All the "drama" I thought I was going to get this episode seems to actually come next week.

This season is so boring. They ended the episode with the boring talk with the yoddler. Ugh... I might see you guys next week. I'm not making any promises.

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