Sunday, February 2, 2014

The Bachelor: dancing, singing and tasty octopus, oh my!

Another week, another 2 hour block of time devoted to the televised search for love. I must admit, I'm on the verge of boredom with this crop of ladies. We need a "villain" ASAP. I need something/someone to look forward to each week. Is it bad for me to say that I want some folks to go fist to cuffs at a rose ceremony? Any of you ever watch "Flavor of Love"? Yeah... I need some of that.

Anyway, let's get this party started!

8:00 PM - Starting right on time. And guess what ladies, you've made it to the TRAVELING PORTION OF THE SEASON! WOOP, WOOOOOP!

*insert screaming ladies!*

This is exciting but c'mon, ladies... you knew you'd be traveling somewhere! Oh who am I kidding, I'd probably be jumping up and down and screaming like a little school girl too.

8:05 PM - They're doing all this dang screaming in the airport. Everyone else is looking at them like, "get these white girls outta here...ugh!" ...but in Korean.

Ooo, that is a nice hotel they're in though. #GangnumStyleBallin'

8:08 PM - Haha, Nikki is CLEARLY upset she's on this group date. Like... the disgust is written all over her face. That was hilarious.

[First commercial break! I feel like I should do something to celebrate that. Maybe next blog.]

Haha, did you notice the Bachelor themed border on the TV during the commercials? You know, in case you forgot you were watching the Bachelor. Oh, still at commercial break, by the way...

8:11 PM - Back in Korea, y'all and it's time for some "K-Pop" which is Korean Pop music for us Americans that had no idea.

Haha... man, Nikki hates these girls/this group date. I hope she is forever on group dates until the end.

The ladies get to dance with the popular Korean group "2NE1" and biggest surprise... this girl sounds VERY American. Her American English is spot on.

Uh oh... rough soultrain line going on right now and everyone is solo dancing. Lemme tell ya... if you can't breakdance or don't have any sweet movies, solo dancing is really, really hard.

8:15 PM  - So Kat is super confident about this dancing thing. She's now teaching others the moves. I'm surprised there isn't more put on umm... what's her face... the former NBA dancer. Although... Kat isn't letting us  NOT think about her during this dancing stuff.

Anyway, they just found out they'll be dancing at a concert, as if we didn't see that coming. Nikki is, on cue, freakin' out. This performance could be interesting.

[Commercial break: Side note - I wanna see 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2'. I really liked that book as a kid and I enjoyed the movie. I need to see the 2nd one now. The end.]

8:22 PM - Haha... the girls are getting dressed for the performance and man... they look SO... Asian pop, haha. Like... #Anime.

This 2ne1 group is like... 4 female Beibers for Korea.

Haha... I can't type everything I'm laughing about fast enough!

Well... they're dancing now. Nikki isn't terrible. But she ain't that good either. Kat,on the other hand... yeah, she definitely thought this was her concert.

Oh... and Nikki is, of course, hating on Kat.

Oh, I really hope Kat doesn't get the rose on this group date. I don't know who should, but I hope she doesn't get it just because I know she'll be pissed.

[Commercial break: another side note - whatcha doing for Super Bowl Sunday? Got any good prop bets? Who ya picking to win?]

8:30 PM - Evening portion of the date. Time for some sake! (I know that's Japanese, but I felt the need to use it)

Kat is on her solo time with JP (Juan Pablo's new nickname) and Nikki just opens up about her judgement (aka hate) of Kat. Hopefully one of them will be the villain I've so longed for.

In other news, everyone keeps asking JP what his biggest fear is. Jeez, ladies... get some new interview questions.

8:35 PM - Uh oh... Nikki's plan may be backfiring. The other girls aren't feelin' her cattiness and negativity. Will Nikki make the classic move of complaining to JP about someone else and, in turn, getting herself kicked off? Things are looking good for that possibility.

8:38 PM - Things are getting boring... back at the house, Sharleene gets the next solo date. Will she awkwardly kiss him on the date? *shakes magic 8 ball* "Signs point to yes!"

Oooo, nice! Nikki got the rose! Not only did the hater get the rose, but now she's the hated since this is like her second time getting a rose on a group date. She's ballin' on them right now.

Oh, and Kat was, in fact, pissed.

[Commercial break]

8:45 PM - Really... we open up with a pic of JP in the shower? Not necessary. Ha... Sharleene had her hair in some big curlers... she was lookin' real Asian.

They're in some market. I bet it... smells. I remember China Town up in New York. All I remember is it smelled. Notice I didn't say it smelled bad... it just smelled. There were just lots of things happening. Anyway, they tasted lots of things at the market. They're brave cuz... I don't know 'bout that, bro.

Back at the house, the ladies are discussing how they can't picture things with Sharleene and JP. Kinda funny since he, himself, said Sharleene was his favorite.

8:50 PM - JP doesn't know a lot of phrases and words. It's kinda funny because it's just a little reminder that he is not white.

Haha, evening date time and JP wants her to sing for him. And of course she's shy about it. The professional opera singer was shy about singing. Silly.

They kissed. I have no further comment on that.

[Commercial break]

8:56 PM - We're back and Sharleene is a happy camper at the moment.

Hey, Sharleene asked some good questions (instead of "what's your biggest fear?" - I said that in a dumb voice by the way). We're finding out how/when JP came to the States. This is something I wanted to know, so thanks, Sharleene.

Haha, superb editing by the ABC crew while the ladies at the hotel talk about Sharleene.

9:00 PM - Sharleene and JP are having a very honest conversation right now. I commend her for being very honest about this. And to be honest, I have to commend JP for at least appearing to be deeper and more than just his looks.

Hey, side note - now that they're in Korea, who's taking care of that girl's dog?

[Commercial break]

9:07 PM - 2nd group date time! They're getting "Krazy in Korea". They walked up to some building with a bunch  of lil' Koreans being weird in the window. This is place is build like a lil' doll house as well... also kinda weird. And then they did some karaoke. And then they went on some paddle boats. And then they went and got a fish pedicure? Is that what it's called? Whatever, the fish were eating the dead skin off their feet. #Nasty.

Oh.. and now they're eating octopus. I've actually had octopus before thanks to Rachel Kafsky. Theirs looks fried though... mine was not. It was very chewy.

Ohh man... line of the night from Kelly, the girl with the dog, talking about Clare eating octopus,

"Her piece was like this big and I know you've swallowed bigger things in your life than that." - #Burn Great line, she just earned some points with me. I wonder how Clare feels watching that back.

[Commercial break]

9:17 PM - We're back and girls are talking about kissing JP. Umm... if you haven't kissed him yet... you're late. Step up your game, ladies.

Renee, aka House mom, looks familiar to me for some reason. She has a very friendly face. That's a good thing to have.

9:23 PM - Welp... this portion of the group date is now boring. They're just talking bout kissing JP. Blah, blah, blah...

9:24 PM - Oooo, we just took a nice, dramatic left turn! The girl who is a music composer and I constantly forget she's even on the show... she just asked for a kiss (cuz that's how the cool kids do it... just ask) and basically got rejected. He said he didn't want his daughter seeing him kiss a bunch of ladies and that's all well and good except... we all know and saw you kissing a bunch of other ladies already. Now, he actually hasn't kissed a bunch of them, only like 6 of 'em... so I guess I'll give him that. But yeah, I can see why she'd be upset about that.

[Commercial break]

9:30 PM - Yeeesss... music girl is crying.

Man... that drama ended way too soon for my liking. Ugh...

Ahhh... thank you, Kelly the dog lover. She's now hatin' on Clare. Ooo, and now Andi is too. Hehe... now they're making fun of Clare and her whole scene with eating octopus. Ha... that was funny.

9:33 PM - Ha... JP didn't last very long with his "no kissing night." Music girl is going to HATE finding this out! Hope we catch that on camera.

Sweet, Andi got the rose. She's one of my favorites.

Ok... I'm ready for this episode to wrap up. It's felt like a long one.

[Commercial break]

9:39 PM - Back on and it's rose ceremony time. Noticing a lot of these ladies haven't seemed to get much camera time so we'll see who lasts. Also, seems like more and more of the ladies aren't liking Nikki. Ha... and Nikki thinks it's all on Clare... who... right on cue... comes over and sits with Nikki and Kelly. Haha... and Kelly just went right ahead and put that awkwardness out there. Ha... I'm starting to like Kelly.

And now the 2 are "talking" ...not arguing... just talking... aggressively. And Kelly is just sitting in the middle of it. I hope she stays around for at least 1 more week.

[Commercial break]

9:52 PM - Home stretch and it' time for the first rose ceremony outside of the US!

Ooo, this week's dramatic rose ceremony music is all drums. I like it!

Renee, Chelsie, Kelly (wahoo), Danielle and Cassandra are the first 5 to get a rose. Lil' surprised with the Danielle pick but she has yet to get a one on one date so... guess we'll keep her around.

Allison and Clare are next. Oh... and just like that... it's time for the final rose. And the final rose goes to...

Ooo, this is dramatic...

...longest pause ever...

Kat gets the final rose! I actually guessed correctly. Music girl goes home... that honestly wasn't a big surprise. Elise, however, talked a lot this season about being ready for this and how other girls there aren't ready... and now she has to take the long flight home.

9:58 PM - Time to end the show and JP is talking up their next destination and it's... Vietnam. No disrespect to Vietnam but... didn't see that coming as their next exotic and romantic destination.

10:00 PM - And that's a wrap! Hope you had fun. Next week looks like there may be some good drama.

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