Welcome to Miami: Worst Anniversary Ever is Redeemed

We went from the "worst vacation day ever" to never wanting to leave Miami Beach. I've calmed down since my latest vacation meltdown (I seem to have one each time we travel....examples here and here) so Jeremy is willing to let me take the reins on this post.

I'm not gonna lie, I was more than ready to up and leave Miami after FOUR Groupon fails in a row but I awoke the next morning with a new outlook and happy to have a husband that sticks with me when the grumpy and whiney Asha comes out. Not long after we woke up, I received a phone call from the parasailing company we had scheduled an appointment with later that day. Sadly, they had to cancel again due to the weather that was practically identical from the day before. This time, however, I couldn't bring myself to get upset. I accepted the fact that it just wasn't going to happen and to just go about our unplanned day. Yep. No plans that day. We were just going to go with the flow. And I was okay with that.

Although cloudy, there wasn't any rain that day. We started the morning off at the beach and were instantly happy that it was drizzle-free unlike the day before.

We (happily) napped atop of the sand. Totally opposite facial expressions but whatevs.

We put our feet in the ocean.

We drew in the sand.

We saw ACTUAL surfers.

And happened upon someone filming a commercial.

We walked to the edge of the beach.

Once we got to the rocks, it INSTANTLY reminded me of Free Willy, one of my favorite movies growing up. That movie seriously had me wanting to be a Killer Whale trainer throughout my childhood. I HAD to re-create the moment :)

This is awesomely horribly photoshopped.

During our down time on the beach, I for some reason, started thinking about the Kardashians. This is not something I want to admit but I may or may not watch their shows. Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kourtney and Khole Take Miami, Kourtney and Kim Take New York, Khole and Lamar, Kourtney and Kim take Miami...Yeah, all of them. It's sad but I get sucked into their crazy antics when they play episodes back to back to back.

We were in Miami and the Kardashians popped into mind. I put one and two together and I dragged Jeremy to Dash, the second location of the famous Kardashian boutique.   We walked into the boutique and instantly felt awkward as I felt like the security guard was watching every move we took. I took a peek at the sale section and my jaw dropped as a dress on sale was $300, regularly $550. A simple cotton t-shirt was $60! No thank you. We snapped a few pictures of the small boutique with their faces plastered all over (would they have it any other way?) and I left feeling giddy that I actually stepped into the "famous" little shop. No judging please.

It was well into the afternoon and I was willing to try our Gelato groupon again. Surely they were open this time. We nervously walked back to the store front and the clouds parted and angels sung. IT WAS OPEN! We happily taste-tested many flavors, settled on our favorite and enjoyed every bite of gelato as our Groupon was accepted. You better believe I was happy.

With gelato settled in our stomachs, we walked back to our hotel room with a skip in our step. We probably took a nap (don't really remember but knowing us on vacation, it's the most accurate) and we got ready to meet one of Jeremy's friends from high school for dinner and drinks. I finally got to meet Rachel and was happy to meet the one who answered every question we had about Miami before and during our stay. She advised to order mojito's at it was one of Miami's signature drinks. Oh. My. Goodness. That drink was SO good. And I don't like to drink! I'm pretty sure I could have thrown those back all night. But I didn't. I limited myself to two :)

After our delicious seafood dinner, Rachel gave us a tour of the city. We left South Beach, crossing over the bridge and into the city of Miami. We stopped by Miami Heat's home, American Airline Arena, wishing them good luck in the finals. We walked around Bayside Marketplace and later gazed upon the Miami skyline reminding us just how small the city of Charlotte is. I forgot my camera when we went out so you'll have to settle for not-so-good iPhone pictures below.

Jeremy with Rachel. She's pretty awesome.

We ended the night with a walk on the beach as we weren't quite ready to head back to our hotel. It was the perfect end to our last night in Miami.

The next morning we awoke sad to leave a place that I couldn't wait to get out of a few days before. Needless to say, our trip turned around for the better. We took our time packing up and enjoyed one last breakfast underneath the sea salt air of Miami. We ended on a good note with complimentary mimosa's to go with our food. We dragged our feet on our way out the door, trying to soak the last minutes of our short stay on Miami Beach. The city seemed to mourn our goodbye as it literally rained the ENTIRE 12 hours home.

Miami, we didn't get off to the best start but in the end, you had us in the palm of your hand. We can't wait to get back for a visit! Hopefully next time the weather will corporate and we'll get to parasail AND paddleboard. Until next time!

Oh, and all those groupons we weren't able to use? We got refunded. Woop! Woop!

It's Electric!

Well you guys, I've never seen so much neon green and pink in my life. This past Friday, 20,000 people filled Charlotte Motor Speedway sporting neon get-up like it was the early 1990s.

I wasn't going to do the Electric Run but when a spot opened up on Elyse's team and was offered at half the price of the original fee, I figured, why not? I was gladly a part of Queen City Sprinters and officially on the team. Even better, they ended up giving me the spot FOR FREE!

I was inducted onto the team with a bright pink tutu. I've never worn a tutu in my life, but hey, it was the electric run, why not. With tutu's hiked up and knee socks on, we joined the sea of green and pink and awaited the start of the race. As we anxiously moved up in the corral, it was hard to not keep still. Music was pumping, people were dancing, and neon was EVERYWHERE. We finally reached the start line and jogged our way through thousands of people in the mid summer mugginess.

Blurry but I love it anyways.

We made our way through some fun electric themes throughout 3 miles along the Charlotte Motor Speedway. Bubbles, umbrellas, and fun movie screens were some of my favorite parts. Unlike the Color Run, we actually got to run on the track which was pretty cool. Standing on the start line of the track felt a little unreal, even for a non-race fan like myself!

photo by Electric Run

We ended the race with high-fives and sweaty hugs with old friends and new. We packed into the car and glowed all the way home. Enjoy the video below!

The Bachelorette: Family, don't ruin this for me!

Welp... Monday evening has made it's way back into the weekly rotation which means the Bachelorette is on.

...yaaaaaay...

I want you all to know that I'm missing the MLB Home Run Derby tonight thanks to this show. Now... it's not like I really, really, really wanted to watch it, but it's just another "man moment" I'm not partaking in due to this show. So with that said, just hold on to my Man-Card until NFL training camp begins (Panthers training camp begins July 25, first practice July 26... in case you needed to mark your calendar).

Anyway, without further ado, let's start the show...

8:00 PM - OOHHH YEEEAAHHH, it's hometown week! Let's see who's family ruins it all this year!

This episode's previews are on. 2 things...
1. Zak's family... buncha weirdos.
2. Dez's brother... he just looks dirty. Like... for real, he looks like he needs an actual bath.

Ok, we open up with Zak in his hometown in... Texas (I think). Ya know, every time I see one of these hometown episodes, I always wonder, "what would I do if I had to bring a bachelorette to Charlotte?"

... I just got distracted by Zak's dream he had the previous night. Uh... that was all over the place. He must of been high.

8:05 PM - so... Zak's family does some snow cones. Oh, and now they're going to serve some to... what looks like kindergartners and first graders. And those suckas are all over the snow cone truck too.

Zak is like... going all out on this. He just came running out in a penguin mascot uniform. He is serious about this.

I don't even know what to say about this... 

[commercial break]

8:11 PM - We're back on and it's time to meet Zak's weirdo family. First impression - they at least LOOK normal.

Lots of squeals happening. A whole lotta energy in that house.

Zak just told them about his first time coming out of the limo... and his family actually thought HE was the weird one.

At least they laugh a lot. That's always good.

8:13 PM - Question - is everyone that makes it to the hometown visit rich? Or "upper middle class"? I want to see a hometown visit to someone who doesn't live in a huge house.

Actually, I guess Dez's visit was like that.

Ok, Dez has talked with mom, basically got her blessing. Now it's the sister's turn and... I was expecting more grilling from her. But she just seemed really, really nice. Little disappointing.

8:17 PM - This suddenly got boring.

In other news, it's juuuuuust about time to get the fantasy leagues together. I kinda wanna do a "keeper league" this year. I know most of you don't know what I'm talking about so... whatever.

OHH YES... it's concert time from Zak's family!

They seemed normal... but they also seemed like freaks. 

I'm giggling. They're all like... singing for real! It's always kinda funny when people try really hard doing something and they're really just not that good at it. These guys aren't bad singers, but they're over doing it right now.

Wait... Dez is (pretending)... liking it! Guess she actually listened to the lyrics... unlike me.

8:20 PM - whoa... he just gave her a ring. Funny how when the roles are reversed and the woman kinda jumps the gun on the whole marriage talk... she's crazy. But when a guy/Zak does it... it's sweet.

Anyway, Dez loved it all. From what I've seen, I think he earned a rose, but we'll see what the other guys have planned.

[Commercial break]
Oh yeah, so what would I do if I brought someone to Charlotte? Ya know... I really don't know at the moment. I'd need it to be either football season or just warm outside. Could definitely go to the Whitewater Center. Uptown is pretty cool, I'm sure I could entertain someone up there. Clearly I'm terrible at this and hopefully I won't have to actually entertain someone visiting Charlotte.

8:25 PM - It's Hilfiger's turn! He's from Arizona and... the background looks like a movie set, haha. All kinda looked fake... a liiiiittle bit like him.

Hilfiger's family seems to have complicated names and situations.

8:28 PM - They're visiting his sister first, who is severely handicapped.

Awww, his sister is super excited to see him.

8:31 PM - Dez now meeting the rest of the family. First impression, they too, all look normal.

[Commercial break... let's see if I can sneak in some Home Run Derby time...(yes, I got to watch some!)]

8:35 PM - We're back! Drew does seem pretty... happy right now sitting with everyone. All season he's seemed pretty reserved but he's definitely more open around the family. And now he's sharing his feelings with mom. He sounds like a Hallmark card.

And Dez is talking to Drew's dad now. He also sounds like Hallmark card.

Dang, my man said he's ready to get on 1 knee.

8:40 PM - Hilfiger just got a pep talk from dad. By the way, his dad's name is Malachi. I like that name. It's such a strong Biblical name. I think my first 2 future sons' names are already scheduled, so if there's possibly a 3rd, Malachi may be in the running.

Annnyway... Hilfiger just told Dez he loves her... like 3-4 times. He meant that, haha.

Ya know, these dudes are all pretty confident they're going to be engaged to Dez. Guess you have to be... but yeah, obviously somebody is going to be wrong.

[Commercial break]

8:46 PM - And now we're in Oregon with Chris. It's very, very green there.

Oh, I think I just saw Edward Cullen in the background!

Hey, I kinda like this date, haha. This would be my kinda date cuz I'd TOTALLY want to show off my athletic ability.

And by the way, Dez ain't too shabby on the diamond.

8:50 PM - So Dez is pretty creative and artistic. We saw her draw the nude model with Zak. On this date, she drew some pictures for Chris and uh... they... kiiiiiinda sucked. Little disappointed.

[Commercial break]

8:55 PM - I hope Chris' date picks up. The baseball was cool but now I'm just bored. Entertain me!

Man... it's dark in this house. But we're both too lazy to get up and turn the light on and Apollo isn't smart enough to flip the switch.

I even tried to clap them on... nothin'.

"So would you like to come get adjusted?" - Chris' dad just asked Dez that. Pretty sure someone is going to use that line in the club.

8:57 PM - Dez is getting her back... spine... neck... everything adjusted. That was very... random. But it looks like it felt good.

Wait, did he have this office and stuff... downstairs???

Umm... my man is getting "the nose adjustment" right now as he talks with his dad about Dez. That was all kinds of random. Guess that's a perk of having your dad do... that stuff for a living.

This was just so... weird.

9:00 PM - haha, soooo apparently nobody in Chris' family liked his last girlfriend. Seems like he's really just now figuring it all out.

Chris is talking to his mom. She seems a lil' hesitant to give all of this a raving review.

Oh, ok there's the raving review. She likes her. Everybody likes Dez. Honestly though, she's very likable.

Everyone is back around the table and... it looks like the amount of people multiplied. Definitely didn't meet half of them.

9:05 PM - Ugh... it's only 9:05... 55 minutes left! All they have left to do is 1 more hometown date and the rose ceremony. That doesn't take 55 minutes maaaaaaaaan.

[Commercial break... time to get some ice cream!]

9:09 PM - It's Mr. Turner's tuuuuuuuuuuurn!

Dang... Salt Lake City, Utah is quite scenic! Looks like a postcard out there.

So Brooks actually seems somewhat hesitant about this whole thing. He's actually NOT jumping in head first and declaring his love for her.

Now they're reminiscing about their moments together... aka boooooooooooooriiiiiiiiing.

9:13 PM - Finally moved on to a canoe ride.

I don't know what he was doing but uhh... Brooks just tipped the canoe getting all that water in the dang boat! C'mon, son. Act like you been there!

[Commercial break]

9:19 PM - We open up with this statement from Asha,

"This is boring."

Pretty much sums up the entire season.

Anyway, Brooks makes a grand entrance and... dang song, there's like 50 people in there! (not really, but yeah...)

So many of them, they have on name tags. From what I see though, definitely needed cuz there's no way she's remembering all of their names.

For real, there's like... 20 people there.

9:22 PM - Yeah, this is kinda boring.

Jeez, he has to talk to so many people!

Whoooops. Totally just zoned out. I was actually thinking about flag football. I want to coach flag football this fall... and I also want to play this fall. Anyone want to coach and/or play?

9:27 PM - Dez is finally leaving Brooks' family. That's... all I have to say about that.

[Commercial break]

9:33 PM - Oh, I'm late!

So yeah, Dez is now talking with her dirty brother. I can't believe they're actually related... by blood. For real. I'm shocked.

I wonder why she's even wasting her time telling her brother about everything.

Haha, he said he wants to meet them. She straight up said, "no."

Her brother is so... I don't know what word to use. Let's put it like this - he seems like the kind of person I would try to avoid running into in the hallway cuz he's going to stop and talk to me about stuff I don't care about.

[Commercial break]

9:40 PM - Ok, we're in the home stretch. Time to talk to Chris Harrison!

All they're talking about is how the dudes, other than Brooks, have told Dez they love her. Oh, and Dez has made it clear Brooks and Chris are the top 2. If I'm Zak or Drew and I'm watching this at home... and I didn't win... I think her statements would make me feel some kinda way.

Hahahaha... Dez's brother is lurking in the background just being a creeper and spying on the guys walking in.

Weirdo.

[Commercial break]

9:49 PM - Last 11 minutes... let's do this!

Rose Ceremony time. Any guesses on who's going home? I think... I'm thinking either Zak or Hilfiger (Drew) is going home. Not sure which one though. Anyway, let's hand out some roses...

First rose goes to Brooks. She really likes this guy.

Second rose goes to... Chris. Everything going as planned.

Time for the final rose... and a reminder from Chris Harrison in case you weren't paying attention.

Last rose goes to... HILFIGER! By Zak. Man... I know he's hurt. He's fighting back the tears. Guess his folks should've sang a better song.

Dez is trying to talk to Zak and... I don't think she's making any sense right now.

Hha, oh yea, he gave her a ring. See... that's what happens when you jump the gun! Can't just hand out rings all willy nilly!

And now he's all sad in the limo. It's sad to see people "not believe" in love and marriage and all that. I don't have anything else to say about that, just sucks for them. Glad I gots mine!

Man... he looks SAD.

He looks SO sad. I almost feel bad for him until I look down and see him holding that stupid ring. A bit premature there Mr. "Quarter Pump Chump"

Haha, he tossed the ring out the window.

Oh, apparently the men tell all episode is next week. That means Jeremy gets a week off cuuuuuz I'm not blogging that.

Previews for the next episode... so dramatic. Dez is crying a lot... can't wait for that one... (sarcasm)

Ok, episode is (finally) over. I'm excited because I get a week off! Woop! Woop! See you guys in 2 weeks!

Welcome to Miami: Worst Anniversary Day Ever!

I'd just like to point out that THIS is what happens when Asha leaves me to write a blog not on a weekly schedule. This blog will be coming from me because she was too salty against the entire day that happened. Here we go...

Our anniversary was June 4th. Our first blog on the anniversary trip was posted on June 20th. It's now late July and I'm finally writing the next part of the anniversary blog. So yeah... that's my bad.

Ok, so back to the anniversary. On day 2 we awoke to some humid weather and cloudy skies. This weather didn't exactly look promising and, little did we know, a dark cloud would be hanging over our heads literally and metaphorically ALL DAY.

We've only been married 2 years, but we've already established some traditions. One of those traditions is on our anniversary day, we sit and just reminisce about our wedding day. In other words, we watch our wedding video. I usually have to stop Asha from watching it repeatedly but we're really glad we were able to have our wedding day recorded. When we're old and can barely remember our middle names, we'll still be able to watch and have all of our memories come flooding back.



So on this day we had a couple of fun things planned. The agenda included:

• Parasailing
• Paddle boarding 
• Awesome seafood dinner 
• Beach time

Fun-filled day. It was going to be awesome! Only 1 person didn't agree with that - Mother Nature.

#Hater

Lemme tell ya, Groupon is an awesome, awesome thing - except for when it doesn't work. We tried over and over and over again to schedule our parasailing and paddle boarding only to sit angrily listening to recorded messages. This probably is the most annoying thing... ever. The reason we couldn't schedule anything was because with the not-so-great weather came choppy waters and the companies don't take anyone out when the waters are rough. Understandable to everyone except the wallet that had to shell out money to pay for these things and who are only in town for a few days.

So yeah... parasailing and paddleboarding were out. We went ahead and scheduled appointments for the next day hoping that we could go out then, but for now: Groupon #1 AND #2 = FAIL (and a not so happy wife).

After a morning filled with disappointment, we decided to hit up our free breakfast courtesy of the room fail upon our arrival. It looked like the rain had let up and with our parasailing and paddleboarding plans shot, we decided to head to the beach. By the way, I'm pretty sure it only rained whenever we had an activity planned outside becaaaauuuuuse it definitely rained while we were out there. We eventually fell asleep in the rain because, really at this point, there was no reason to complain. We still managed to smile because, hey, we were in South Beach, Miami.

Once Asha slept off the bad vibes from the morning, we were ready to try our luck again with Groupon #3 - Gelato! Thanks to Miami being on it's own time schedule (aka, everything begins 3 hours later than normal places), we weren't quite ready for lunch and gelato seemed like the perfect solution for a snack! We packed up our beach gear, used the ol' iPhone to find the place (how did I live before that thing?!) and headed over, Groupon in hand.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand stop.

The store was closed.

Now... my wife is such a kind-hearted, peaceful overall nice person. But 2 things I've learned:
1. She's got a lil' bit of a temper
2. Don't mess with the girl when she's hungry and/or tired.

So yeah, when #2 happens, then #1 shows up. Annnd that's basically what happened once we saw the gelato place was closed. I swear I thought Asha was about to punch the closest person to her... which, unfortunately, was me.

Groupon FAIL #3.

Oh, and no - I didn't get punched.

Asha's "duck face" aka disappointed with the day face.

By this time we forgot about the lil' snack stuff and had built up an appetite for lunch. As we walked along Ocean Drive, listening to the lunch specials each restaurant had to offer as we were bombarded by hosts, we landed on a great pizza deal. There are a few universal things that pretty much fix anything (objects, moods, whatever).
1. Bacon.
2. Duct tape.
3. Free/cheap pizza.

Now, since Asha was still a bit upset about the previous events, I was PRAYING that this lunch would be good. We ordered a pineapple and bacon pizza and lemme tell ya, God is good! That was some good pizza. I swear, if it somehow had duct tape too, we would've been in the happiest mood possible! To top it off, we ordered some BANGIN' lemonade. This stuff was GOOD and thankfully, Asha no longer wanted to punch anyone.

The "BANGIN" lemonade.

Suddenly, everything was just... happier. I even saw a random parrot fly by. Like... Toucan Sam style telling me to follow my nose to the colorful fruit loops!

We wanted to continue the good vibes, so what better way to cheer your wife up than agreeing to window shop? We walked down Collins Avenue, Washington Avenue, and eventually made our way to Lincoln Road for some window shopping. We couldn't afford the expensive stuff but made due with some of your average shops like Urban Outfitters, tourist shops, and H&M.

Shopping on Collins Avenue.

This is what the people wear in Miami. Clearly we were over-dressed every day.

Oh, and you should all also know that I happen to know 2 people living down in Miami. 1 of them actually holds the title of "Jeremy's former girlfriend in high school." As we were window shopping, we figured it was a good idea to stop by for a quick visit. It was really, really nice seeing a familiar face down there. I haven't seen anyone from high school since... high school. The beach was close by so we took a moment to marvel at the landscape in between shopping.

We did a lot of walking in the rain that only seemed to come down when we were in the streets. By the time we got back to our hotel, we were tired. Oh, by the way, did I mention we decided to just stay in our room with the separate beds? Once we unpacked, it just took too much energy (aka we were too lazy) to pack again so we just stayed in our separate beds. And speaking of those beds, we took a power nap and were in no hurry to get to dinner. Let me tell you a lil' something about Miami - they're on their own time schedule. Early breakfast was at 9-10 AM, lunch was around 2-3 PM and dinner was whenever you felt like eating. Plus, there's basically a party every night and it would last until 5 AM. So again, absolutely noooo hurry to get to dinner. Besides, we had a Groupon for dinner anyway!

Refreshed and in high spirits!

This is what some folks call "foreshadow."

Anyway, in true Miami fashion, we were aiming to have dinner around 9:30. We drove into the city and finally make it to the restaurant and...

wait for it...

the restaurant was CLOSED. They closed at 9 PM.

Groupon FAIL #4.

All we could do was laugh. Well, I laughed, Asha was a little more upset. She got that "I'm gonna punch the closest person next to me" look on her face again. She eventually just gave up on planning events for the rest of the entire trip which meant I got to choose where we ate. If you eat with me often, you'd know my go-to restaurant food of choice is a burger... preferably with bacon. So as we walked along the strip, my stomach went to it's familiar place and we ended up getting burgers from Johnny Rockets. Our waitress could tell Asha wasn't in the best of moods and attempted to cheer her up with a smiley face ketchup. I have no idea if it helped or not, haha.

The waitress' attempt to cheer up Asha. Smiley-face ketchup! It half-way worked.

So yeah, technically this was our worst anniversary day ever. However, we managed to look back on the poo poo weather, failed Groupons and all of the other mishaps that happened throughout the day and laugh them off. Life doesn't always go according to plan. We were instead grateful to be with each other and share 2 years of blissful marriage. I'm sure bigger plans and mishaps will be thrown our way later down the road (aka children). We just have to learn to roll with it.

Lessons Learned:

1. Research store hours when on vacation.
2. Don't let the bad weather bum you out. Instead, go with the flow.
3. Happily eat smiley-face ketchup when in doubt.

Asha will be in charge of the next Miami blog so expect that to come much quicker.

The Bachelorette: The finish line is in sight!

We're back.

I just remembered Dez kept Michael last week. Ugh.

Oh yeah, but they're on some island this week. This season has felt like it's just draaaaaaaaaaaaaaagged, but suddenly it's hometown visits next week! Anyway, let's start the show.

8:00 PM - open with some scenes... the usual.

This island they're at looks niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Clear sea water, always a plus.

So far uh... no one else is on this island. It's so... clean. It makes me want to travel.

8:04 PM - Heeeeeeyyyyy, girls from last season!! This has been the best moment of the entire season! Lesley is there... I ended up liking her last season. And obviously I liked Catherine.

(high pitched) "Blah, blah, blah... giggle, giggle..." that's all I heard.

Haha... this is such... girl talk.

Yuuuup... I'm no longer interested.

Is this how girls are when they get together? All that giggling, my goodness.

[commercial]

8:13 PM - We're back and Brooks is getting ready to go on his date.

And speaking of - this past week I saw a pic where folks are comparing Brooks to "Mr. Turner" - the cool, hip teacher the students loved on the show 'Boy Meets World'. Fun fact: my sophomore year at App I definitely scheduled my classes around the lunchtime line up on ABC family (Family Matters, Boy Meets World, Step by Step and Full House). #BOSS

Obviously Mr. Turner is Brooks' illegitimate child. 

They're riding in a drop top fiat. Boy does that look stupid.

This little car looks like he can barely get up this mountain. What is this like a 2-cylinder wind-up clown car?

This car wouldn't make it in Boone.

I can barely pay attention to these dates now. I will say though, their view right now is very, very cool.

I have to admit, this was a nice view for Dez and Mr. Turner.

8:19 PM - Ugh... why do they always feel the need to do that standing up and yelling thing? I blame Ron Burgundy for this.

Haha... this makes me laugh every time.

[commercial]

8:23 PM - Time for the next date card... oh snap, and Chris got that next 1-on-1 date. Luckyyyyyy.

This is the same guy that chose to wear the heels. Just want y'all to remember that.

Y'all remember this? 

Time for the dinner portion of the date with Brooks. This island is definitely romantic. ABC knows how to pick 'em.

This is boring.

It honestly looks like they're genuinely enjoying each other, but I just don't wanna watch it, haha.

8:28 PM - Random fireworks show to conclude their date. Wow... such  a coincidence! I mean... what are the chances?! Crazy how that worked out.

That, my friends, was what I like to call acting.

[commercial]

8:36 PM - Hahaha, I totally missed about 3-4 minutes of this segment. I was Facebookin'. Anyway, Chris and Dez are out on the yacht now. #Baaallllliiiiiiiiinnnn'

If there's 1 thing I can say about these dudes on this season, they make me want to workout.

Oh, Michael finally gets his 1-on-1 date. He's definitely my least favorite person left on this show.

8:39 PM - Dez and Chris are having their boring talk. Aww, and now they're going to write a poem together and put it in a bottle. How romantic... writing poetry together... just spittin' rhymes better than Soulja Boy. And then tossing it into the ocean and kissing upon the rocks as the waves crash around them painting the perfect scene for the most romantic moment of the season!

Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh, you guessed it... I was acting again.

[commercial]

8:47 PM - Wer'e back and it's dinner time. Chris has also said he's gonna drop the L word tonight. We'll see how that goes.

I will say, Chris and Brooks seem to be in the lead. Just judging by their 1-on-1 dates they've had.

Haha, Chris is nervous. First, he kicked the bucket of champagne. Now he's all fidgety. Starting to sweat...

Ladies, most guys get like this before saying "I love you" and dropping to 1 knee. That's how you know it's real haha.

Oh... he's got another poem. Ladies, does that ever get old? Like... if for every present, anniversary, birthday, mother's day, date night, apology - if you always got a new poem, would that get old?

Anyway, he said it and, of course, melted her heart. He's definitely earned some big points with his poems.

Ok... tired of watching them kiss.

Thank God... commercial.

[commercial]

8:57 PM - Aaaaaaaaaaaaand we're back. Michael's turn on a date. Guys, I just don't like this guy soooooooooooooooooo there's a good chance I'll just stop typing. I mean... I can't believe he's made it this far.

Oh, I will talk about this cuz this lil' sled right down the hill looks kinda fun. Although, Dez looks and sounds like she's having more fun than he is.

He just looks... uncomfortable.

That was a super boring first half of the date.

[commercial]

9:05 PM - Back on. Learned that Michael didn't really have a father growing up. Did we already know this? These stories have started to run together.

Thankfully it's back to the hotel. Time for this 2-on-1 date. We already knew who was on it, but yeah... can still be entertaining once the realization hits the guys.

Oh.. nope, wasn't really entertaining this time.

9:10 PM - back to the date. Michael is doing more sharing. This time we learned about him moving in with some girl and then finding out she was with some other dude.

Oh, we've got another private concert. Haven't had one of these in a while. And in case you didn't watch, this is concert is definitely a spanish lady singing with 2 guitar players.

Hey, Asha just pointed out something - we haven't see Chris Harrison ALL NIGHT! What's he doing this whole time???

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9:16 PM - Time for the 2-on-1 date. Well... I guess this has potential to be entertaining.

This 2-on-1 date kinda has the 2... most made up/fakest looking dudes left. Mr. Hilfiger and... Zak... Mr. Fake lookin' guy.

Oh, now they're racing. IF YOU AIN'T FIRST, YOUR LAST!

Oh, if you didn't know, they're racing go karts. I haven't been in one of those in sooooo long. This is why I need to still work with kids/one day have my own. Cuz that's what I'm trying to do... race go karts like a boss!

Oh yeah, Zak won.

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9:25 PM - Haha, we open up and it totally sounds like each guy is currently in the friend zone. Dez said it doesn't feel like a normal 2-on-1 date cuz it feels like she's with 2 guys friends and also romantically involved.

1-on-1 time with Zak now. He has a bunch a drawings basically recapping the memories he has with her. I guess that was cool.

Drew's turn.

Oh snap... Drew said he's fallen for Dez. Twice.

I don't know who's getting this rose. These dudes are almost too nice to each other... but I'd probably be nice too though, haha.

Oooooo, moment of truth - who gets this rose???

Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, Drew gets the rose! He is locked in for the hometown visit!

Zak is pretty salty about this. Can't blame him, but I still laugh.

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9:39 PM - Finally down to the final... 20 minutes of this show.

It's very tense in the hotel with the guys. Only 1 guy has a rose. 5 guys left. Only 4 roses. This is definitely an "Ohhh snap!" moment.

9:40 PM - ATTENTION - we've finally had a Chris Harrison sighting. I don't even know how he let this get through the editing room.

Oh... this is like... interview time. Ha, Dez just straight up said Drew is the best lookin' dude. I like the definitive honesty.

Dang girl! She basically just said she's fallen in love with Brooks. She's just all kinds of giddy right now.

Chris asked her if this is basically over. She said no... buuuuuut it definitely feels like she's narrowed it down to at least her final 3 already.

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9:51 PM - OK, time to wrap up this episode. It's rose ceremony time!

Only 1 guy needs to go home... and that needs to be Michael. Don't let me down, Dez.

Brooks gets the first rose. No real surprise there. Next rose goes to Chris. Again, no surprises here either.

Ok, this is where Dez could mess it all up. I can't say I'm a huge fan of either guy left... but I rather Zak stay.

Final rose goes to... Zak! Yes! Good job, Dez.

Bye, Michael.

Dez is trying to soften the blow but really, at this point, there isn't really anything you could do.

Question - when do you think the crew finds out who's going home? You think Dez picks her guys, then just tells the crew who's going home so they can get their bags ready? And you think they watch and giggle amongst themselves watching these dudes squirm.

Oh my GOD... Michael had a very, very... girlie moment in that limo. My man called his mom. I mean... just like a girl. I can tell he didn't have a dad.

I still can't BELIEVE this dude called his momma. Like... for real? 

Ugh...

Ok. This episode is finally over and we got some interesting previews for next week. I forgot all about Dez's brother. Haha... and in these previews, my man was just... lurking, haha. Ahh, that should be interesting.

Ok guys, see ya next week!