The Bachelorette: A riveting snooze fest.

Guys, this has probably been the most boring season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette I've ever watched (I've only seen 4 seasons, this is my 5th). I'm not totally sure what it is about this season, but it's been a huge struggle to get through these episodes. Do you all think this season is boring? Or am I just missing the entertainment? Someone help me out here. Am I alone in this thinking? I need to know. I'm serious about this. Leave me some comments, I want to know your thoughts.

Anyway, because some of you are still reading, I'm going to continue watching. Just know I actually changed the channel from ESPN for this. It's a good thing this isn't during football season.

Let's start he show...

8:00 PM: We've started with our usual opening - seeing previews of what's coming up. Give me something good tonight, Bachelorette.

Well... Dez does a lot of crying so... maybe we get some entertaining drama. Keep your fingers crossed, folks!

8:02 PM: The boys have arrived in Munich. I wonder what made them pic Germany to travel to? If I'm the Bachelor, we aren't going ANYWHERE where I have to wear a jacket.

Chris Harrison's first appearance. Dang it, he's not wearing one of his designer shirts that he designed.

Anyway, he just announced there'd be the first 2-on-1 date. I would hate, hate, HATE to be on that. Just... despise it.

8:05 PM- Casey tried his hand at some German. He sounded really dumb.

So Chris gets the date. Still not sure about him. He was the one wearing heels... yeah, gonna keep an eye on him...

I'm already tired of everyone trying to speak German.

[commercial]
Anyone gonna go see Pacific Rim? I dunno about that one, guys. Just looks pretty... corny to me.

8:11 PM: We're back and opening with Captain America who, again, is moping about not wanting to be there. Hey, dummy - why you gonna wait until you travel across the world to really decide you don't want to be there.

Oh, AND he decides to go interrupt Chris' date to tell Dez he's leaving... man, just go home.

Anyway, back on the date... this is another date I don't want to watch. However, I would like to try some of those sausages I just saw.

Ha, Dez and Chris dancing around in the city and... pretty sure Asha has those same boots Dez is wearing.

This makes me kinda dizzy... 

Confirmed. Same pair.

Ok, Captain America is going around asking the Germans if they speak English and if they've seen a camera crew. They're all just kind of... looking at him. Some are responding... kind of. Anyway, he eventually finds them. I hope just totally ruins the date.

(I should explain - I'm not evil. I don't want people to have ruined dates. I just really, really, really want some entertainment.)

[commercial]

8:19 PM: We're back and it's time to ruin a date!

Wow... that was as pleasant as it could've been. Well, Chris... you're a nice guy. I'll give ya that. I GUESS I probably would've done the same thing. I mean... he does still have the dinner time with her later.

Well, Captain America just dropped the bomb. I think Dez is upset? I don't know. Like the guys said, he's mentioned it before so she knew it was a possibility. But yeah, bye, Captain!

They just questioned why would he fly all the way out to Germany to say he wants to leave (same thing I asked). Well I figured it out - that was a free trip to Germany. I'm all for it.

8:25 PM: Back to the guys and it's time to announce who's on the group date.

Whoa, what's up with my man's hair? Brush that down or somethin', man! (Side note: ya know, for as much as white people don't fully understand black people hair... well rest assured, white people, many of us don't fully understand your hair either. I have some questions, but that's for another time/place/blog.)

What are we calling this "hair style"? He just looks... ignant.

Haha, Ben and Michael will be on the 2-on-1 date. Michael hates Ben. This has been set up to be quite entertaining, but will it be? Yeah, we'll see.

[commercial]

8:30 PM: Hahaha, Dez tripped on the curb/her dress. Most entertaining thing all episode...

It's only 8:30. Guys, I don't know if I'm gonna make it this episode/this season. 2 hours man...

It's dinner time. They're not eating, but they're definitely throwin' back the wine. Won't be letting that go to waste.

8:32 PM: Oh yeah... he writes poetry. I wish he put some music or dropped a beat to this. Anyway, Dez liked the poem. It brought her to tears. So he got the rose.

(Chris just mentioned an underrated fact. Single ladies, the ability to decently throw a football is pretty attractive. Don't go throwing like Peyton Manning - which would be impressive, just not quite as attractive. But yeah, in college, I searched the campus for ladies that could catch AND throw a football. And thanks to my scouting, I got a co-ed championship in flag football and 1 in co-ed arena football. #winner)

8:35 PM: Oh look... a private concert. Wow, he must feel lucky because no one else has gotten this!

Well, I guess I'm looking forward to this 2-on-1 date. I hope they fight.

[commercial]

8:40 PM: We're back and they're hangin' out on the highest peak in Germany.

These group dates are like... the epitome of a sausage fest.

Ha, Dez's reaction is funny. She clearly is amazed. Really nice view though.

Ha, this yoddler is... funny. But from what I hear, I can do that.

8:45 PM: Dang, son, they're about to some epic sledding. That looks fun (and dangerous).

Sausage sledding fest

Haha, Tommy Hilfiger just slammed right into Dez. That was funny.

8:47 PM: So back at the house... haha, Chris is just sitting there, soaking in all the awkwardness. I seriously need these guys to fight... at least verbally.

[commercial]
Any of y'all watching TrueBlood? That show is addicting. Just thought I'd share.

8:51 PM: And we're back. Hey, they get to walk through/inside an igloo mansion! I bet Eskimos watching this are like, "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang, they must be on MTV Cribs!"

Side note: I've been playing some Bachelorette trivia during this episode. Almost sad to admit I'm KILLIN' this trivia. Straight #BEASTMODE on these strangers.

8:56 PM: Mikey was actually seeming to have good conversation and then he was interrupted. Sucks for him.

Haha, James is gettin'... a lil' cocky. Throwin' out that playalistic game.

9:00 PM: 1 hour down. I just wanted to announce that.

Hey, Brooks got the group date rose. I guess I like him. He seems less annoying than many of the others.

[commercial]
Oh nah, son. Asha right now is over on the couch half asleep! I should just close my laptop now.

This episode is SO exciting and entertaining! So much so, Asha decided to just go ahead and dream about it.

Whoa... 'the Conjuring' looks pretty freaky. Who wants to go see it with me? (Cuz Asha won't.)

9:05 PM: Time for this 2-on-1 date.

Haha, they're just quietly sitting in the limo. I still don't understand why Michael hates Ben so much. Like... I just don't get it. Why is he so upset that Ben hasn't talked about his son anymore? Why does he need to talk to you about his son? Ugh, go away.

9:09 PM: Thank GOD Dez didn't really want to jump in that cold water. I never understand why people want to do that.

This hot tub boat thing is actually kind of cool. Not gonna lie.

This hot tub time was way more awkward than anything that's happened in a Real World house.

9:12 PM: I don't think Michael realizes that he's sounding like a jerk trying to make Ben sound bad. No matter what you personally think about him, you can't sit there and basically push his buttons, make him out to be a terrible father and DARING him to punch you in the face and think you're going to look like the "good guy" with Dez. That's just dumb.

[commercial]

9:17 PM: Back on. Dudes are just chillin' back at the hotel. Tommy Hilfger and Casey (maybe) are just airing out everything they heard.

Honestly, it's somewhat of a win for everyone if Dez just drops 'em all.

Anyway, dinner time. They're snacking (on something) and well... Michael starts the drama. He just doesn't get it... he looks like a douche right now. He's clueless.

Ugh... they're not going to fight. Way to keep it boring guys. I hope Dez let's them both go. Even though I don't really see why Ben would have to leave, haha.

[commercial]

9:28 PM: We're back and now that Ben has walked out and Dez is uncomfortable... Michael finally realizes his lil' lame plan ain't working.

9:32 PM: It's rose time (finally). Will either of them get a rose?

The 2-on-1 rose goes to... Michael. I'm... a little bit surprised.

Haha, Ben ain't acting toooooo Christian at the moment. Oh well, sucks for you Ben. But if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Michael is staying much longer.

Back at the house, the guys are so happy Ben is going home. ...yaaaay...

[commercial]

9:40 PM: Back on.

Dez looks nice with her hair up.

1-on1 time with Chris Harrison. He hasn't made many appearances this episode. I... guess that's a good thing?

Blah, blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaah... I might take a break until the rose ceremony guys. Just warning you.

9:46 PM: Dez said no cocktail party for you losers tonight. And of course, James tosses in, "you look beautiful," just in case she was thinking about sending him home... and that comment would change her mind.

[commercial]

9:53 PM: Rose ceremony time. Let's send some dudes home.

Ya know... I am SO tired of hearing these guys say "right reasons" or "wrong reasons". It' gotten so very, very old. In other news, I've gotten good guitar practice during this episode.

First rose goes to Zak. Not much of a surprise there.

Kasey gets the next rose (I've been spelling his name wrong all season... oops.).

Juan Pablo (not enough of him tonight) and Drew aka Tommy Hilfiger get the next 2 leaving 1 rose remaining. I guess some popular dudes are left...

Ooooooo, James gets the last rose. James appears to be the next "bad guy." Hilfiger and Kasey apparently overheard him saying some stuff about possibly being the next bachelor. None of us heard it so... we don't know what was truly said.

These guys get REALLY upset about these other guys apparently lying. It makes my man's blood boil.

OK, whatevs... on to previews of the next episode. They're going to Spain.

All the "drama" I thought I was going to get this episode seems to actually come next week.

This season is so boring. They ended the episode with the boring talk with the yoddler. Ugh... I might see you guys next week. I'm not making any promises.

Welcome to Miami: South Beach Bringin' the Heat

It has never been easier to wake up at 3:30 AM but when a road trip to Miami is on your agenda, the sound of your alarm couldn't sound any sweeter. In order to beat the rush hour morning traffic, we hightailed out of Charlotte at a very early note and drove our way through South Carolina and Georgia, finally crossing the line into the Sunshine State around noon. We decided to make a pit stop in Orlando for some shopping at the outlets. Our legs thanked us as we were able to stretch out AND find some good deals! We were more than anxious to get back on the road though....only 3 more hours and we would be at our destination!

After many toll roads (we're not huge fans of those) we finally arrived to the the historic Majestic Hotel located in the heart of the Art Deco at Miami Beach. Little did we know, we were about to start our 24 hour streak of bad luck with the many groupons we had purchased (at least we tried to save money?).

We happily walked into our hotel, arms full of luggage, ready to unwind in our ocean view room we had been looking forward to for months. We semi-successfully checked in only to find out our room wasn't ready yet....even though check-in was at 3 PM and it was pushing 7 PM. We were told our room would be ready in 30 minutes. We were checked into a temporary room, still ocean view, but with two full beds instead of a king. It would do for the time being. We dropped our bags and quickly decided a walk on the beach was the best thing to do.

An actual beach lifeguard stand! Never seen one of these until then.

Our feet sunk in the sand as we walked along the shoreline gazing at the clear blue water and trying to scope out those barley there swimsuits (thongs or topless) that we had been told to watch out for. It was close to dinner time so there weren't many people on the beach (although, Miami didn't disappoint, we did catch 1 topless woman in the ocean on our walk) and the lifeguards had left their stations for the day. We watched the sun go down and then headed back to Ocean Drive to find a place to eat and watch Game 7 of the Miami Heat/Indiana Pacers game that was due to start any minute.

After walking up and down Ocean Drive and seeing what each restaurant had to offer, we settled on dinner at Boulevard Cafe. We enjoyed sitting under the inside/outside bar feeling the ocean breeze and being among the locals cheering on their team. It was a site you don't come across much in Charlotte. We just don't have that kind of support for our sports teams in the city.

We scarfed down dinner, watched the game and the buzzing streets of Miami. Yes, the streets were buzzing even on a Monday night. We even spotted a guy walking all willy nilly down the street with a LIVE snake wrapped around his neck. We made sure to stay clear of that guy. We weren't taking any chances. We soon headed back to our hotel but guess what....our room still wasn't ready. For all the grief, we got a free breakfast voucher for the next morning. Worked for us....a great way to start off our anniversary!

After many hours on the road, it was very easy to hit the pillow. Although we were in separate beds, and sad about it at first, it was kind of nice to spread out for the time being. Yep, we kicked it 1950's style.

Stick around for more Miami adventures coming up!

The Bachelorette: 1 guy gets sent home, 1 guy THINKS about going home, and there's a substitution on a date

Well... Monday has come around again which means it's time to settle in and get comfortable for the next 2 hours.

Oh, I should add that there's a lingering storm happening. Just wanted to point out there's a chance the ol' DirecTV may go out which means this could get a rain delay. And that would suck. Because that would mean I'd have to just watch later and... I don't wanna do that.

Anyway, let's start the show...

8:00 PM- Ok... watching previews for this upcoming episode aaaaaaaaaaaannnnndddddd... I'm gonna be annoyed. I can just tell.

8:02 PM- Oh look... another hideous Chris Harrison shirt. It looks like... puke. IT's worse than last week. I think he's trying to out-do himself.

Chris Harrison just told them they're off to Atlantic City! Uhh... I don't know why they're so excited? I've never been to Atlantic City OR Los Angeles... but I'm pretty confident LA is better.

One upside though, this reminds me of Boardwalk Empire.

8:05 PM- date card has arrived and Brad is the lucky winner. (I barely recognize this guy.)

Everyone is talking about how reserved Brad is. Let me explain something that some of them may not know - Just because he doesn't talk to YOU, doesn't mean he's super reserved and doesn't talk much. It means he doesn't talk much... to YOU. See how that works?

8:07 PM- HOLD UP... they're allowed to just roam through the candy factory and grab the chocolate right off the machine?!?! I'm sure that's 100% sanitary... #nasty

Get your nasty, dirty, germ-filled hands off of the food! #nasty

Hey, speaking of #hashtags, is that social media guy still up here?

[commercial]

8:11 PM- We're back. We opened up with them on the beach walking to their sand castle seating area.

The way this portion of the date was edited makes it look like there... wasn't much talking. We moved on to the dinner portion annnnnnnnnd apparently it wasn't just the editing, there was some awkward silences. Honestly though, he's only spoken to her 1-on-1 maybe... 5-6 times. I don't think I would really have that much to say to someone I've barely spoken to. Especially if he's as reserved as they all say.

It doesn't look like Brad is staying after this date. I'm more than ready for someone to leave! I really should've done some rankings so I could've had someone to root for.

Ok, so Dez just gave Brad the boot. Made that man walk all the way up to the top of that lighthouse to tell him bye. Honestly though, she shouldn't have done that in such a secluded spot. What if he snapped and got crazy... killed her and the camera crew. You can't trust these bachelors out here. Remember, most of these dudes are bachelors for a reason. Just sayin'.

Au revoir, Brad. (Ok, I'm gonna go ahead and throw it out there, Brad seemed/looked a little... gay. And I don't mean that in a degrading way. He looks gay.

[commercial]

8:23 PM- It's back on and it's time for the group date. One of these days I need to watch this with like... a Bachelor/Bachelorette super fan. I think that person could make watching this even more enjoyable.

Oh boy - we've got a Mr. America... bachelor... contest group date. This is gonna be grrreeeeeaaaaatt.

You know what's funny to me? I'll tell you. It cracks me up when men are better than women at "girl stuff." Examples:

• Color guard
• Pageant training
• Ballet teacher

Nothing wrong with men doing these things. I just find it a little funny when guys are just better at it. Ok, I'm done now.

I'm just gonna... stay away from this one...

8:26 PM- OK, they're picking out stuff for their talent and uuhhh... my man went and actually PICKED the heels. The... women's shoes.

But why?

Did no one question why he PICKED the heels to wear? And why he did it so confidently? That's not a "talent" you really boast about.

I know you're all wondering, "what would you do if you had to be up there, Jeremy?" Well, from what I saw, I'd grab the guitar. Since I'm a guitar hero now, I can play a couple songs. And believe it or not, I can carry a tune when singing. I'm no American Idol, but at the very least, I'm decent.

Man, these rapid fire questions are kind of... serious. I'm sure you guys have seen Miss Utah from the Miss USA pageant already. But I can totally understand that happening. They ask some serious questions.

8:29 PM- There are so many things happening right now and I can't keep up. Just know I'm questioned and laughing throughout the entire segment.

[commercial]

8:33 PM- It's pageant time! Have to admit, I'm slightly interested in seeing some of this. I really hope it's not as lame as I initially think it will be.

They got 2013  Miss America and the mayor to help judge. I hope they paid them.

Question: Y'all get paid to come do this for the show?
Next question: What race is the mayor? 

They're getting the rapid fire questions first. Most of the questions weren't too hard... however, Mikey... let's just say he bombed.

Oh, Mikey... 

Talent portion - well, they aren't terrible. But um... dude in the heels... that was just ridiculous.

Tap dancing guy and guitar guy actually had talent.

8:40 PM- Swimsuit competition... yeah...

There she iiiiiisss, Miss Americaaaaaaaaaaaa...

I'm glad they sped this up because I'm done with this now. Anyway, 3rd place went to Brookes (I thought he'd at least get 2nd). 2nd place went to Zac W. And the winner is Casey. He was the tap dancer, right?

Glad that's over.

Oh snap, Captain America said he might not accept the rose if offered. We'll see how much truth is in that teaser.

[commercial]

8:47 PM- Night portion of the group date.

Ok, so the dude that wore heels also writes poetry. I have an appreciation for poets because to me and in my head... they're rappers.

8:50 PM- took a little while, but we finally have our latest whining about Ben.

8:52 PM - umm... my man is just chillin' back at the hotel by himself. I get it, you're just relaxing by yourself but did we REALLY need to see him eating chocolate covered strawberries in the bubble bath? I tell ya, these guys are just DESTROYING any of those stereotypical walls that may have been built up about men.

Really, dude? Also, I don't know if I blame him or ABC for this shot. I guess he brought this upon himself though.

Ah man... Captain America didn't even get any 1-on-1 time to talk?! I see why he was talking about wanting to stay. However, it didn't look like he was trying THAT hard to go talk to her.

[commercial]

9:00 PM- So it's time for James' 1-on-1 date and they're uh... touring some of the areas that were damaged by hurricane Sandy. That was a terrible storm and really ruined some lives but on the Bachelorette... that ain't the time and place for a serious tour like this. This entire date is just sad.

I guess this is a good reminder to the rest of the country that people are still struggling and still trying to rebuild from that storm.

[commercial: I can't believe how... massive bullying has become. Was it this bad when I was a kid and I just didn't realize it?]

9:08 PM- We're back on the depressing date. I'm glad James had his little "me time" night prior to this because I KNOW he wasn't expecting this for a date.

I feel like it may be coming across that I have zero sympathy for hurricane victims. Let's clear that up - I do. I think I do feel a little... different than some though because I've been through plenty of hurricanes. Thank God my family has never had to experience damage like this couple they're talking to, but we had to prepare and live through hurricanes every year. It's just something you deal with. Every part of the country has some sort of nature related disaster people have to deal with, but part of me feels like hurricane damage in the South doesn't get as much national recognition as stuff in other parts of the country. Social Media has definitely helped changed that since anyone anywhere can send out some info to the world. But yeah, it seemed like it took Kanye calling then President Bush racist for some real relief action to get going.

I'm done with my little rant.

[commercial]

9:20 PM- We're back on James' 1-on-1 date and... we're watching the old couple do the date instead. I get it, that was sweet and all but I don't wanna see this on the Bachelorette.

After she said that you could totally tell he was saying to himself, "yup... I still got it." I see you, playa.

Guys, I'm done with this episode.

Oh wait, not done yet because James is about to tell Dez he cheated on some former girlfriend.

Ah man... he cheated on his girl freshman year of college?! Maaaaaaaaaaaaan... I'm done with this episode again.

This has been the longest date... ever. (oh, that's cool they re-made their photo album. Ok, back to being done with this.)

Oh snap... I totally stopped paying attention. Think I missed a commercial break... anyway, this is crazy. They have probably the most famous person to give one of these private concerts (Hootie!) and the old couple is dancing to it. Man, if I was Hootie... somebody would have some 'splaining to do!

Oh, ok... Hootie is doing another song and the old people left (probably way past their bedtime) so Dez and James get to do some alone time dancing.

I tell ya - that was the longest date I've ever had to sit through.

[commercial]

I should update you guys - that storm was just a big tease. No damage and the DirecTV stayed on so we're good.

9:40 PM- Rose ceremony time. Captain America said he ain't so sure about accepting that rose tonight. EVERYTHING inside of me wants her to offer him a rose at the rose ceremony and he says no. That's what I need right now.

9:45 PM- Capt. America is finally talk to Dez. Seems like she wants him around and has talked him off the ledge a bit. With that said, she BETTER give him a rose. He's still kinda talking like he may leave, but she has to at least offer him a rose to stay since she said she wanted him to stick around. So yeah, if anything, he should feel like he's totally getting a rose.

[commercial]

9:51 PM- Ok, let's hand out some roses.

Blah, blah, blah... Dez, get on with it. I think I'm ready for bed.

Chris aka 'friend zone' gets the first rose. Next up, Brookes. He seems to be a contender. Thinking he'll be there a while.

Juan Pablo gets a rose and he was BARELY in this episode. My man.

Drew gets the next rose. He looks like a Tommy Hilfiger model.

CLEARLY this guy could totally be a model for Hilfiger. 

Michael, Ben, Casey get a rose.

Oh snap... Captain America gets called for the next rose... haha, there was a long pause. He just stood there. Made that nice and dramatic. And he could've done it! He could've said no and had an epic moment in Bachelor history! But no... he accepted the rose.

Down the final rose and it goes to... Mikey! Which means that guy I... don't really recognize is going home. Crap, I turned away and missed his name again... oh well.

Ok, rose ceremony is over and it's time to relocate. Next up... GERMANY! Everyone left has made it to the real traveling portion of the season!

Hey, those teasers for the next episode look interesting. I hope someone fights.

Ok guys, I'm going to watch 'Mistresses' until first commercial break and then it's bed time! See ya next week!

Celebrate.

This weekend was packed two days straight of celebrations and cookouts! Although fun, they wore me out making me fall asleep at 8pm Sunday night. Sad, I know but hey, it is what it is.

Celebration #1 was a surprise for Elyses's husband Josh, who turned 30 earlier in the week. Being the sweet wife that she is, she spent over a month planing a fun get together of close friends and family. She went above and beyond creating a theme, logo, and fun activities for everyone to do. All of the hard work paid off and he was surprised to say the least :) I was happy to help with the planning and had a girls night baking and prepping for the big day on Saturday.

Rachel, Elyse, and I baking cake pops

Time for the chocolate!

I'm pretty sure we are experts at cake pop making now.

SURPRISE! I love Elyse and Josh's mom in this picture.

SURPRISE!

A golf-themed photo booth!

Cheeeeeeese!

Happy Birthday, Josh!

I luuuuuave him. I think he likes me back.

Celebration #2 was spent with both our families as it was Father's day! We had another cookout (we'll never tire of those) and enjoyed catching up and being with both of our parents. Both of our dad's enjoyed their gifts and we can't thank them enough for being there countless times throughout our lives. Thanks Dad(s)! We love you!

Grill Master, Millard Singleton!

With my Mom :)

My Mom's attempt at using our DSLR. Hey, she tried :)

Us.

Happy Father's Day!

Now with my Dad :)

Jeremy and his Momma.

My babbbbbbby! 

The Bachelorette: RIGHT REASONS part dos!

So after last week's episode, I'm a bit concerned on how this season is going to go. Tonight's episode is shaping up to be a pivitol point in the season providing a bit of a fork in the road. With someone's girlfriend apparently showing up, this could lead to a couple things:

1. It's ACTUALLY a girlfriend and he is embarassed on national TV. Then he has some ungracious and also embarrassing exit from the show from trying to lie his way out of it. THEN it just leads to more and more drama throughout the season! (like... they ALL have girlfriends at home! ...nah, that would be lame, but still.)
2. It's all some dumb joke or it's not really this guy's girlfriend and Dez is suddenly super naive and lets him stay. Then the rest of the season is lame.

Let's hope #1 happens.

Ok, it's 8:00 PM. Time to get comfy (for 2 hours...) and start the show!

8:00 PM - Lame intro. Blah, blah, blah - some clips we've already seen. Let's start the show already.

Oh, we started. Chris Harrison strolls in wearing an... interesting shirt. Plaid with uh.. some funky, polka dot type design on the inside. I can't even describe it... it was just uh... not working for me.

8:03 PM: Group date participants announced and now they've all arrived for the date.

Hey, one of these dudes... I like his kicks.

Anyway, they're date is dodgeball. They seem pretty excited about it. Honestly, they could easily get their fill of dodgeball by just signing up for YMCA Camp! I'm positive the kids could murder these dudes!

Hahahaha... these professional dodgeball players are RIFLING these balls at them. That was entertaining.

8:05 PM: Well, well, well... Mr. Chris Harrison comes strolling in again. Time to split the boys up and have some "winner take all" dodgeball!! Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh!

(Side note: I found it funny that the movie, "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" is actually airing on Spike right now.)

Haha... they came out uh... kinda hype in their little shorts. Well... let's get this party started!

[commercials... that I have to sit through now... ugh! #firstworldproblems]

8:10 PM - We're back. Dez is laughing at them. She finds it funny seeing grown men in little shorts. It wasn't that funny in the 70s and 80s, Dez!

They just look silly. 

They have a bunch of lil' cheers... they sound like softball girls.

As usual, it's red vs blue. I usually always take blue because I like that color better. In this case... man... I dunno, dawg. Anyway, they made this pretty dramatic and of course it came down to a mano e mano match up. Add some dramatic music, slow motion clips, sound effects and BOOM, you got some intense sporting action!

8:14 PM - It was inevitable. On the 3rd and final match, of course, long-haired Brookes gets a broken finger when diving for a ball. It was pretty nasty, but yeah... they made it out to be TERRIBLE. If though he got kicked in the testes. I would've had MUCH more sympathy if that happened.

8:16 PM - After an intense dodgeball match, the blue team finally wins.

Dude in the front here, I like his shoes. Also, whenever your compression shorts/boxers/whatever you're wearing underneath your shorts are longer than your actual shorts... that's not a good thing. Also, uhhh, kinda creepy looking guy over to the right... is he recording this on his tablet?

Dez gathers them all around and does the unthinkable - the same dumb thing Sean did on his season - she made EVERYONE a winner. Why even play the game if everyone wins? This ain't the soccer league for 4 year olds! Do I need to remind you...

ugh... so annoying... like these commercials...

[commercials]

8:21 PM - We're back and open up with Brooks in the hospital hooked up to some tubes. He apparently passed out while they realigned his finger. He isn't sounding very tough right now. I didn't pass out when they realigned my wrist when it broke in 3 places. C'mon, son.

Back to the group date and first up with the 1-on-1 time, some dude I don't recognize wants to, of course, share some... story about his past.

Oh, he has a son. Really not as dramatic as I thought. You're not the first guy to come on this show with a kid. One of the Bachelorettes had a kid, man! He's probably making up this story about his ex-wife having a drinking problem and taking his car.

...oh wait, maybe he's not making it up, haha.

8:24 PM - Back at the house and the date card comes in and it's for... Kasey! (I need to learn these guys' names. I really should've done some pregame rankings)

Back to the group date. This other guy who I don't recognize had time to figure out how to get to the top of this building... like, at the helicopter landing pad... Good move but, c'mon - nobody else noticed he was out wandering? Although, maybe they didn't recognize him either.

8:27 PM - Aww, yay... Brookes comes back. Showed up in his GAME WORN dodgeball uniform. Authentic athlete. Could probably go for many dollars on the ebay.

Alrighty, guy who gets the rose on the group date is... Chris! (that second guy I didn't recognize)
They now get a private concert. I think... I need to experience a private concert to see if it's cooler than I think. Isn't it time they switch it up a bit? The whole private concert thing is kind of played out to me.

"Bet he's glad she's doing all slow songs." - Asha. <-- She's absolutely right. Did you see the music video? I dont' even know if he was in that but judging by the talent pool... eeehh.

[commercial...]

Side note: I got new shoes today, guys! From H&M. They're blue and I feel rather stylish while wearing them. They're good summer shoes too. Have to be careful with H&M. They've got some great stuff for great prices, but... a ton of stuff prodominantly worn by gay dudes.

8:35 PM - We're back with some solo Dez time. She's... fake writing in a journal or something and gets a phone call from Chris Harrison. (Man, Chris is all up in tonight's episode!)

So yeah, Chris has explained to Dez about this "bad news" and now she's headed to the mansion to confront one of these dudes.

Ha, so Dez has arrived and Kasey is all smiles and ready for his date... BUT FIRST... Dez has to talk to umm... Bryden? Brian? I don't know what she's saying.

Dez opened up her 1-on-1 talk with this guy like... with the classic female question, "So, is there anything you want to tell me?" Why do ladies ask this question? OBVIOUSLY the answer is NO, there isn't ANYTHING we (guys) WANT to tell you. That's why we didn't tell you! I didn't think this was very difficult to understand!

Sorry for the rant that I'm sure every female who reads this will have something to say. But guess what, no... there isn't anything I want to tell you. :)

Ok, so after pointless talking, Chris Harrison AGAIN strolls up with a woman claiming to be Bryden's girlfriend.

*GASP*

Bum. BUM. BUUUUUUMMMM!

[commercial...]

8:43 PM - We're back! Ha, all the guys are all anxious and shocked about what's going down. So... duh, time to go watch from the window!

Ok, the alleged girlfriend is getting umm... worked up.

Hey, is this guy's name Bryden or Brian??

Oh dang, he never told Stephanie (alleged girlfriend) he was going on the show. *Gasp* and she has a son who apparently looks up to him.

Ooo, Stephanie just airing it all out! Haha, and she won't stop. Ooo, and now everyone is talking at him!

Hahahaha, Stephanie won't let ANYBODY get a word in.

You guys think she looks a wee bit like Tierra? I could see her having the same shade of 'crazy' as Tierra.

WHOA... time OUT! My man just said Stephanie has THROWN ROCKS AT HIS FACE! ... and she confirmed it! Uhh, yeah, that may qualify as a toxic relationship.

I don't know how much of this stuff was authentic, and how much did Stephanie ham it up for the cameras, but that was a bit more entertaining than I expected.

[much needed commercial]

8:51 PM - Oh, that felt quick, we're back on. Dez has said it, it's time for him to go... and you know why... cuz he wasn't there for the RIGHT REASONS!

Haha, they're like... treating him like... a prisoner or something. He can't even talk to his bros on his way out!

Question - would you go all the way out there for 1 hour to say, "I'm your girlfriend/boyfriend!" ? I'm pretty sure I'd just officially break that off and move on. But that's just me...

Also, how did she find out? (<-- classic question every guy asks himself after the detective (aka nosy) girlfriend/wife finds out something.)

8:55 PM - Ok... I get it, Brandon... you know what it's like to have guys come into your life and date your mom and you get attached and then they leave. Yes, that's a terrible situation, but you can keep it together and not cry during your confessional, right? Maybe I just have a heart of coal?

[quick segment, we're already at commercial]

9:00 PM - FINALLY time for Kasey's date. But first, the next date card has arrived. However... I missed whoever was announced because I zoned out. So... back to the date with Kasey.

Soooo... they're going to dance on the side of a building. I believe she called it 'Vandeloop'? Anyway, DIDN'T SHE SEE THEM DANCE IN THE MUSIC VIDEO?! And now she wants him to dance ON THE SIDE OF A BUILDING?!

Still don't know how I feel about this particular activity.

I... GUESS this would be cool? I dunno... whatever.

Apollo, however, did not find this cool at all. He went to bed.

9:03 PM - It's dinner time! Judging by the music playing... something isn't going to right.

Oh, and there it is... it's suddenly like... super windy. Everything is blowing and falling over. And like some... silly white people, they thought it was a good idea to jump in the pool.

...yeah, whatever.

And Kasey tried to save it by kissing her in the pool. AND they have wet towels to go along with the freezing water and the harsh wind. Not his fault, he had an uphill battle.

They finally decide to leave the pool and Kasey gets the sympathy rose.

Ya know, this makes me think - do you think they actually WANTED to get in that pool? I mean, that just wasn't a smart decision. Maybe the camera crew was like, "we have to have a bathing suit/swimming scene so... yup, you gotta get in. Sorry, guys."

[commercial]

Another side note: Sooo, you guys heard of the app Viggle? It's an app where you "check in" with TV shows you're watching and earn points. Anyway, there's a chat room portion so I decided to check one out. I open it up and... it's a bunch of old people talking about dating and what dating sites they've used while commentating on the show. Color me surprised. I wasn't sure what to expect but... I didn't see that coming.

9:12 PM - Time for the next group date. The guys are very excited about the horse and carriage showing up to pick them up for the date.

Dez is dressed in a... Gone With The Wind style dress. There's some wild west type stuff on this date. Dez seems to like... acting. Is this supposed to be like... her audition for future opportunities?

Anyway, I guess it's pretty cool they're with the stunt crew from the upcoming movie, "The Lone Ranger." I used to want to be a stuntman. I think a part of me would still like to do it.

9:15 PM - So they learned all the basics... now they bring in some real live horses!

Haha... got a classic moment from Juan Pablo clapping and saying, "I like it!" as only Juan Pablo  could do.

Alright, it's competition time.

They're all going through what they learned... one dude split his pants... and then BOOM!

It was Juan Pablo time! My man came out in full conquistador mode! Only spoke spanish and did his best spanish cowboy he could do!

Quickest gun slinger west of the Mississippi... JUAN PABLO!

So of COURSE he won. Duh! They got to watch The Lone Ranger... and that's when he put the moves on Dez!

Muy Caliente!

[commercial time]

Hahaha, Asha just hit me with the Juan Pablo kiss. I blushed.

9:26 PM - We're back. Everyone is around the fire, time to fight for some alone time with Dez.

Haha, so I just checked out twitter to see what some folks have said about tonight's episode. This girl, @BritaMcGinnis said,

     "I keep waiting for Tierra to walk around the corner & take Dez's place as #TheBachelorette. Dez is boring, and the guys are gay."

This cracked me up because... Tierra probably would be more entertaining. But I mean... she's crazy so, that's a given. The guys aren't gay... but they can be pretty lame. Plus, whenever you're an outsider watching a guy try to be romantic or emotional... yeah, we can look pretty lame.

9:30 PM - James is yet another guy with some back story. Don't get me wrong, his dad has pancreatic cancer. That's absolutely terrible. But man, it just feels like each guy is trying to 1-up each other with how bad their past is/was. It's not a competition, guys! (except... it is)

Ha... he gave her a lil' daisy. I guess that was a good move. Dang it, I had something else to say about this... but I lost it. Oh well.

[commercial]


9:38 PM - We're back and... dang, Chris Harrison is BACK. Again, with some news - the cocktail party for the night has been CANCELLED! Soooo they're having a pool party.

So... Ben has a plan to meet Dez outside before she even shows up. Good move, got some good alone time with her, PLUS a ride in the Bentley.

And of course, the SAME 2 dudes are mad because he made a move. They're just mad they didn't think of it first!! He ain't there to make Y'ALL happy! He ain't there for THEIR approval! I get it, he's lied about already talking to her. GET OVER IT! All these little solo talks they keep having with him... my goodness guys, just step your game up!

Do you think Ben cares if you don't trust him? My goodness, this is getting old.

9:44 PM - Man, this dude is bringing up his emotional stuff again. Ugh... I can't take this. I'm not going to type anything during this...

*not typing*

Ugh... sausage fest in the pool...

[commercial]

9:50 PM - It's Rose Ceremony time!

Oh look, one of those same guys complaining about Ben playing this game smarter than them.

Hm... I... don't know how I feel about Dez's dress. IT's like... when I see a shirt or some shoes I like... except for 1 random thing added to it that kinda ruins it all for me. In this case, it would be the... straps/neckline... part.

Ok, on to the roses... Captain American and Juan Pablo get the first roses. Kinda funny she feels the need to ask him if he'll accept the rose en espanol.

Zac W., broken finger Brookes and Drew are next to get roses. Then the other Zack.. Zac... whatever, gets a rose.

Brad aka "I too have a kid at home" gets a rose. Michael... so annoying he wastes so much time complaining about Ben... gets a rose.

And of course his complaining partner in crime, Mikey, gets a rose.

And now we're down to the final rose - which goes to...

OH snap, I just saw we have some popular faces still left rose-less. This is big...

Ohh, and Ben gets the final rose! And Brandon is STUNNED. Honestly, it's not that surprising for a couple reasons:

1. This guy Dan... man, I don't know who you are so yeah... bye.
2. Brandon... too emotional... and you're just too much. You told her you're falling in love with her... bro... it's WEEK 3! I didn't even tell my dog I loved him after 3 weeks.

Oh lord... and now he's crying as they talk outside. He says he's in love with her... and his heart has been smashed. He's too much, man.

"Once again... someone left me..." - Brandon

The official #struggleface. He was so hurt he didn't get a rose. Poor guy.
(I chuckled throughout that entire sentence)

Man... shut yo punk ass up.

Clips for next week - looks like everyone gets a 1-on-1 date and makes out with Dez.

We end the show with much needed Juan Pablo time. Poor Spanish guy trying to speak "cowboy". That was funny.

Ok, time to see if I get sucked into this show "Mistresses" because I'm too lazy to reach over and change the channel. See ya next week!

Advanced Screening: It's a bird... it's a plane... it's...

Well, guys... believe the hype because Christopher Nolan has done it again.

I can't express how much I enjoyed the movie, "Man of Steel". I'm going to try really, really hard to not spoil anything for anyone.

From the very beginning I was HOOKED! Umm... *thinking of how not to completely ruin it for you...*

This movie makes you wonder and question WHY do we do (and act) the way we do. What motivates you to do what you do? Why were you created?

Nolan did a great job telling the story of Kal-El, aka Superman. You get a complete story of when, how and why Superman came to Earth. I must emphasis that it's a complete story. Many people know Superman's home planet, Krypton, was destroyed and he was sent to Earth. I felt that Nolan did an awesome job providing some details as to why everything happened the way it did. This movie also does a great job focusing on Superman. The man. The alien. The human. The hero. Again, a complete story of Superman.

Again, I'm trying REALLY hard not to spoil anything, so this is going to be super vague.

This movie also has TONS of action. I'm recalling 2 REALLY good fight scenes, but don't worry, there are more than 2 fight scenes in this movie (and don't worry, ladies, you get your romance too). Comic book, superhero and Superman fans will all be proud of this portrayal of Superman. You get the power, the speed, the strength, the charm - a real SUPERman, unlike some of the previous versions that have been on the big screen. He actually uses pretty much ALL of his powers as well.

Also, Henry Cavill (dude who plays Superman)... that dude is damn near perfect.  Like... yeah, let's go ahead and make it official - #ManCrush. He's got the classic chiseled facial features and muscles on top of muscles making him look pretty much exactly how you'd picture Superman. And despite the fact that Louis Lane has never, ever been portrayed as a red head (as far as I know), Amy Adams did a great job with the role. (And she's quite the looker herself!)

Overall, this movie gets an A+ from me. Is it the best Superman movie I've ever seen? Yup. Is it the best movie I've seen this year? Yup. Is it the best superhero movie I've ever seen? ...just maybe (<-- but that's because I'm a big Superman fan so I may be a bit bias). But seriously, this is such a good movie and it's got everything! Building romance + a few comedic lines x tons of action = a tremendous movie for all types of fans. Hardcore Superman fans, casual movie goers, men, women - you're all going to enjoy it.

The Bachelorette: The Right Reasons

Let me start by saying I'm basically a week late on episode 2... with good reason.

Some of you may have forgotten... I'm a man. Despite dedicating 2 hours every Monday to a ridiculous reality show, I LOVE sports, and Monday night was Game 1 of the NBA Finals, so of course I watched that instead. The lovely wife and I were also celebrating our 2 year anniversary down in Miami (blog post coming soon) so yeah, those were much higher on the priority list than the Bachelorette. 

But have no fear, DVR is here! It's recorded, so now I'm going to watch and zip through commercials. Let's hope this is as good as my live version! 

Ok, let's start the show... 

Some previews of the upcoming episode(s)...  uh...

oh. my. baby Jesus. Did I really just see all these dudes dancing in a rap video with Soulja Boy? Yeeaahhh, this should be interesting.

Quite the eclectic group.

Ok, Chris is here, explaining how this whole thing works. Is this part really necessary? Who goes on the show not knowing how this works? Anyway, Brooks gets the first 1-on-1 date. That's... all I have to say about that, haha.

Cut to Dez prepping for her date. She was sketching and put on some lip balm stuff. Honestly, it was more exciting watching Sean get ready.

Haha, that guy pronounced "genuine" like the r&b singer, "ginuwine". #ignant 

Ok, Brooks drives off in the girly Bentley. Time for this date!

[fast forward through commercials... hey, any of y'all gonna watch "Mistresses"?? Don't lie.]

Man... I just saw this fool Brooks do a super uncool thing - they're riding around in a convertible and he had his window up. C'mon, son.

Girls really like... wedding dresses huh? They're trying them on... then taking them off. I call that a waste of time. 

Oh, aaannnnnnddd when there's a Bachelor and a girl wants to play wedding dress up, it's crazy... but it's not so crazy when there's a Bachelorette. (that 'ette' changes everything)

I forgot how annoyed I get hearing people on this show talk... about... everything about the show. Like... Did Dez plan this date? Did Dez get them access to go on the "Hollywood" sign since it's the 90th anniversary? 

Ok, enough hating from me. So Brooks... he seems like a nice guy. I don't really have much to say about him. My boy DID get that kiss though. My man... get that rose, playaaaaaaa!

[time to fast forward again... but first... this Nissan commercial with the dancers... I don't know if I liked it or hated it... but I couldn't turn away!]

We're back annnnnnnnnnnnd Brookes is getting nervous because he doesn't realize Dez is tricking him driving round in the COMPLETELY ABANDONED city streets. Oh no, graffiti on the walls... universal sign of a ghetto. Anyway, Asha just pointed something out that I noticed but wanted to see more examples of - Brooks seems to like trying to finish Dez's sentences. If he continues this... that's going to be super annoying. 

Back at the house and... one of these dudes is already upset he hasn't gotten a date card yet. Um, bruh... there's only been ONE DATE CARD. Anyway, first group date is coming up and my man Juan Pablo will be in attendance! I need to name something of mine Juan Pablo. Maybe my guitar. 

HE DID IT AGAIN! Brooks, she pulled out the rose, yes we all know what she's going to say, but you don't have to finish her sentence!! Anyway, it's concert time and it's actually a familiar artist/song! I'm pretty convinced if I were a musician, I'd be pretty upset about giving a concert for 2 people that weren't my parents or some significance to me. Unless I'm getting paid pretty well, then I won't be too upset.

Promo for this group date... man I can't WAIT for this rap video...

[faaaaaaaaast forward...]

We're back. The guys have gone from one mansion to another. Dez has on a tight dress - perfect for a rap video.

I can't stop smiling at the fact they're going to be in a rap video. Oh Lord... Soulja Boy... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

HA! Did y'all see my man Juan Pablo dressed up? 

OHH LOOORRD, now they're background dancers. Wow. Hold on... I have to just watch this. I'll recap or something afterward...

[watching...]

Haha, people with little rhythm just... make me giggle.

[watching...]

This dude is like... in a t-shirt and.. a jock strap? ...ew.

[watching...]

Dez was the best rapper of them all.

Ok, hold up...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (just saw them group dancing)

It boggles my mind knowing there are white people that breakdance, salsa, cha cha, waltz, etc. REALLY well...
and then there's these guys. 

Ahh... commercial time.

[commercial]

Annnnd we're back. Ya'know, I still don't know names of these guys. Only Juan Pablo and I think there's a guy named Ben. 

Uh, ok wait... this guy just gave her an "antique journal" (doesn't look very antique to me) that "hasn't been written in" except that is HAS been written in by some random dad to his random daughter. 

Huh?

Yo, there is a TON of hair gel in that house.

So Ben, he's playing the "single dad" card HARD. But hey, why do you play the game? "You play to WIN the game!" - Herm Edwards. (probably my favorite quote of ALL TIME!)

Ok, we're back and Ben has quickly been identified as the jerk in the group. Props to this one guy talking to Ben 1-on-1. IT's a bit unnecessary, but better to just man up and talk to him rather than complain about it all night/season. 

Oh yeah, I forgot there were other guys in the house who haven't been on a date yet. Captain America gets the next 1-on-1 date. That was a quick little segment. Back to the group date - this Brandon guy, seems a bit serious. Oh, and now he's sharing some of his past and... well dang, he had an interesting childhood. Ok, this is way too serious right now. Just too much. I guess he's trying to get as much in as he can though so... hey, continue the word vomit, my brother. 

He said he didn't expect to "fall in like" with her... *rolling my eye balls*

Ok, Dez gives the first rose to... Ben... the guy everyone kiiiinda hates. I can only imagine what that's like... being the 1 person to get a rose in front of everyone else. I feel their little piercing eyes all the way over here.

[commercial]

Man, even with fast forwarding through commercials, this is still super long.

Dez is driving around her lil' Bentley again. How many miles has she put on this thing already? Ha, I think it's pretty silly that whenever Dez drives up, EVERYONE feels the need to come out and see them drive off.

Ugh, this lil' date of theirs at the beach is not what I want to watch on TV. 

UGGHHH again, they're in the car with the top down and the windows up! WHY?! (it BETTER be for recording/microphone reasons because it looks so DUMB.)

In other news, I bet a road trip through California would be nice.There's a lot to see there and... I like road trips so yeah, me thinks it'd be fun.

[cooooooooooomercial]

OK, time for the evening dinner portion of this date. 

All of these guys have like... some SERIOUS background stories. Captain America was in quite a car accident. 

Hahaha, ok these tweets they're showing throughout the show... totally ruined a nice moment there because I look down and read, "I hope Bryden gets a new barber."

Time for a haircut, bro.

Haha, and now they're in the pool and it's CLEARLY time for him to go in for a kiss... and he just keeps rambling. See, I wasn't a super aggressive guy back in my day, however, back in my day when I didn't dive in for kisses, it wasn't recorded for the whole country to witness. 

[fast forwarding through commercials]

Aww yeah, 2nd rose ceremony comin' up.

I still don't recognize half these guys. Can we just cut this down to about 8 already?

Did Dez tell ABC that she wanted a bunch of guys with issues? Captain America almost died in a car accident, other guy had no dad, mom on drugs and raised his own siblings, now this guy has type 1 diabetes. I'm not saying any of these things are bad or annoying or whatever - but like... each of them has something to talk about. Maybe I'm just uninteresting? 

Ok, so Ben does come off as a bit... fake. But they don't have to all sit around and talk to him about it... again. That's how he's playing guys. Either stop complaining and keep on truckin', or switch up your strategy and do what you gotta do! Again - "You play to win the game! ...Hello!?" - Herm Edwards.

HERM! He also wears fancy socks.

[commercials]

Back on annnnnnnnnnnd we're still talking about Ben. And now 2 other guys feel the need to talk to Ben solo. They are getting worked up over this uh... 3 minute conversation. Yeah, maybe it was a little rude or just not very... "sportsman like" but guys... it's a competition and just like you, he's there to win. Actin' like a buncha middle school girls.

These guys like to pick up Dez. She doesn't look heavy so I don't find it very impressive.

This has been a long cocktail party. It's FINALLY time to hand out some roses... after I fast forward through these commercials.

[commercials]

Rose time! 

This rose ceremony just reminds me I need a new gray suit. 1/3 of them are in a gray suit tonight, including Chris Harrison. So yeah, I need a gray suit.

Ok, first rose goes to James. (who is wearing a gray suit!)

Casey, Dan, Juan Pablo, Brad and Chris all get roses next. And all of them except Juan Pablo I don't recognize.

Bryden gets his next followed by Zac W, Drew, Mikey, Zac, and Michael.

Only 1 rose remaining!! The final rose goes to...

Brandon! Figured that out once I saw who all was left. 

Ok, well... Dez has continued the streak, black dudes just... ain't gonna go far on this show. This episode also featured a TON of faces I didn't recognize. 

Ah man, one of the faces I didn't recognize, he's from Charlotte. Maybe I'll see him around. (obviously I'm joking)

Oh my God I was hoping to actually see this video... 

Never mind, that was lame. 

So what did I learn tonight? I learned that keeping up with this show via DVR is almost harder than doing it live. 

I learned that there should've been more of Juan Pablo on screen. 

I learned that this show just ain't for black dudes.

And I learned Dez is a better rapper than all of the other guys. 

Ok, that's a wrap. See you next week/next episode.